Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 26: Episode 4

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In Association with

00d: Charlize Theron / Paul Simon

A Glimpse Of Our Possible Future II

President Al Gore.....Darrell Hammond
Former President Bill Clinton.....Darrell Hammond

[ open on Scenario II ]

Announcer: And now a Message From the President of the United States: Al Gore.

[ open on the Oval Office - super computers behind the desk ]

President Al Gore: Good evening, America. Tonight I have some important issues to briefly discuss, which is why I've secured this four-and-a-half hour of primetime - you know, as I do every Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Superbowl. Now, I want to pick up where I left off last time, with our Economics textbooks, page 326. Y'all are gonna need to get your homework out. You know, I was really disappointed in some of your performances on last week's pop quiz. Idaho, I'm looking in your direction.. Today, we're gonna focus on.. [ a big belly walks in front of the desk ] ..we're gonna.. we need to tend.. [ annoyed at the distraction ] Come on! Will you get out of here!

Former President Bill Clinton: Ooh, sorry, Teech! Are you on?

President Al Gore: Yes, I'm on!

Former President Bill Clinton: Let me guess.. Internet, blah blah.. lock-box, blah blah.. I'm just kiddin' ya! [ laughs ] Oh, by the way.. [crushes beer can ] ..we're out of beer!

President Al Gore: You said you'd be here for two weeks, you've been crashing on this couch for two years! I swear --

Announcer: This has been a Message from President Al Gore.

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