Palm Beach Katherine Harris.....Ana Gasteyer Jeb Bush.....Val Kilmer George W. Bush.....Will Ferrell Al Gore.....Darrell Hammond Tom Brokaw.....Chris Parnell Announcer: When life is uncertain, and results are unclear.. then you must be in Palm Beach.. [ cue title graphic, dissolve to George W, Al, Katherine Harris, Jeb, and Florida Supreme Court, dissolve back to title graphic over image of George W. laughing behind Al's back ] [ open on Katherine Harris fixing herself a drink ] Katherine Harris: Well, Jeb, with the Supreme Court's ruling to stop the recount, Al Gore is finally finished. It's everything I've worked for. Jeb Bush: And what about us, Katherine? Katherine Harris: Us? [ laughs ] You silly boy! There never was any "us". What happened in the skybox at the Dolphins game was.. just a fling. I'm gonna be an ambassador! Do you think I'd jeopardize my career for some beurocrat named "Jeb"? Ha! Jeb Bush: It meant more to us than that. [ kisses Katherine ] Katherine Harris: Stop, you'll ruin my makeup. Jeb Bush: Damn you, Katherine! Why.. I have half a mind to give your job back to Nikki Cox. Katherine Harris: So go ahead. [ pause ] I didn't think so. Always the conservative, aren't you, Jeb? George W. Bush: [ stumbles into the room ] Hey, hey, it's me, hey.. Uh, Jeb.. the computer's doing that thing again. Can you fix it for me, so I can finish my game of Tetris? Jeb Bush: Of course, Georgie. [ to Katherine ] Even presidents need their computers. [ exits room ] George W. Bush: Hey, Katherine. I've been thinking about my cabinet. Who do you think would make a better Secretary of the Interior - Nolan Ryan or The Rock? Katherine Harris: [ sits him down on the couch ] You're thinking too hard, George. [ massages his shoulders ] You look.. tense. George W. Bush: Heck, I just can't wait 'til all this President junk is over next week.. so I can go back to hunting and executing. Katherine Harris: Next week? You know you have to President for four years. George W. Bush: [ angry ] What?! [ stands ] That blows! I'm gonna kill Dick Cheney! He told me it was like winning a fishing contest - you win a trophy, you take your picture, and you're done! Katherine Harris: Don't worry - it'll go by fast, with me by yuor side. Katherine Harris' Thoughts: You've got him right where you want him, Katherine. [ laughs ] George W. Bush's Thoughts: The Rock is stronger. But Nolan Ryan's wise. Presidenting is hard! [ Katherine and George W. lean in for a kiss, but are interrupted by the arrival of Al Gore ] Al Gore: Hello, George W.! Hello, Katherine! Katherine Harris: Al! I thought you were dead. Al Gore: I'm Al Gore. I just appear to be that way. George W. Bush: [ angry ] Hey, Al! I saw you on TV today! You interrupted the "Rugrats"! Al Gore: That's right, George W. I was accusing you of circumventing the Democratic process in the name of personal ambition. George W. Bush: [ laughs ] You said "circumventing"! Al Gore: [ pours himself a drink ] Ms. Harris, isn't it inappropriate for you to be here? Katherine Harris: Guess what, Al? I'm always gonna be here. Everywhere you turn, this face will be staring at you! [ smiles wickedly ] I'm gonna crush you! Al Gore: Damn you, Woman! Not in front of the boy! George W. Bush: [ sobbing ] Why are you yelling?! Be friends! Katherine Harris: Well, if you'll excuse me, I'm meeting Justice Scalia for cocktails at the Viscayne Club. [ exits ] Al Gore: [ sighs, and walks towards George W. ] She's a real piece of work. George W. Bush: Yeah. She's a "circumvent"! [ laughs ] Right? Jeb Bush: [ re-enters ] Hey, guys. Dick Cheney just had another heart attack.. George W. Bush: [ panics ] No-o-o! He promised he wouldn't! First, Poppy with the hip replacement, now this! Where are all the grown-ups? [ runs into the corner and cries ] [ Al and Jeb sit on the couch ] Al Gore: Jeb, let me ask you something. You seem to care a lot about this country. When you saw your brother actually had a chance of winning, were you ever tempted to tell everyone how he's.. well, you know.. "special"? Jeb Bush: Shh.. I tried.. but believe me - the more people that learned about his disability, the more popular he became.. like Tom Arnold. Al Gore: You're a good man, Jeb. Jeb Bush: Only by comparison. [ points to George W. in the corner ] [ suddenly, Tom Brokaw enters the room ] Tom Brokaw: Hello, Jeb. Hello, Al. Jeb Bush: Tom! Tom Brokaw! Al Gore: [ stands ] What are you doing here? Tom Brokaw: Well, it was just announced that the Supreme Court will hear arguments Monday afternoon. And Sandra Day O'Conner is pregnant.. with James Baker's baby. [ close-up of Al's tightened, worried face ] [ close-up of confused Jeb ] [ close-up of George W. playing with a ball of yarn like a cat ] God bless us all! Al Gore: It's this town! It's.. it's evil.. it's.. [ singing ] "Palm Bea-each"! [ fade to title graphic ] Announcer: And so it goes, in the city called.. "Palm Beach". [ fade ] SNL Transcripts