Wake Up Little Suzie
Suzie’s Father.....Will Ferrell
Carl’s Friend.....Jerry Minor
[Save The Last Dance video cover shown]
Announcer: From the makers of ‘Save The Last Dance’…
[b/w footage of a Suzie riding a horse, which fades to black]
Announcer: …comes the story of a girl whose life will never be the same…
[cut to Carl at Suzie’s bedside in a hospital. She appears to be unconscious.]
Carl: You must be Suzie. My name is Carl.
Announcer: It was an unlikely friendship…
[Carl makes a peek-a-boo face at Suzie, who is still unconscious]
Carl: Peek-a-boo! [giggles] You make me laugh, girl!
Announcer: …that blossomed into love.
[cut to Carl lying beside Suzie, as if in a bedroom scene]
Carl: I love you, Suzie. I always will.
Announcer: And a father who didn’t understand…
[cut to Carl in a confrontation with Suzie’s father in her hospital room]
Suzie’s Father: I forbid you to see my daughter.
Carl: I didn’t plan on it, it just happened. This is the 21st century, Mr. Webber! She loves me!!
Suzie’s Father: She doesn’t even know you. She’s in a coma.
Carl: Even if she wasn’t in a coma, you wouldn’t accept me!
Suzie’s Father: Well, we’ll never know. She’s in a coma.
Carl: I think I see what this is. White girl, black guy, I get it.
Suzie’s Father: No, you don’t. Again, she’s in a coma.
Carl: That doesn’t change the fact that I love her!
Suzie’s Father: It should! She’s never met you, ‘cause she’s in a coma!
Carl: You’re really hung up on this coma thing, pops.
[Video cover art is shown, which parodies the ‘Save The Last Dance’ cover]
Announcer: Wake Up Little Suzie. It was a forbidden love. Even his friends didn’t get it.
[cut to Carl in the hospital room with his friend]
Carl’s Friend: Man, you actin’ crazy with that white girl!
Carl: You don’t know her!
Carl’s Friend: You don’t know her either! She in a coma!
[cut to still of Carl and Suzie]
Announcer: The entire town was against them, and the only thing on their side was love.
[cut to hospital room, two officers are at the door]
Suzie’s Father: There he is, officers. Arrest him!
Carl: Wait, wait. She loves me! I’ll prove it to you all! [to Suzie] Suzie, I know that you can hear me. Show them! If you love me, when I let your hand go, just let it fall to the bed.
[Carl lifts Suzie’s hand, and lets it fall limply onto the bed. The officers walk over to Carl and attempt to handcuff him]
Carl: See? She loves me!
Suzie’s Father: Officers, wait! [he approaches Suzie’s father, the officers back away] Unhand my…son! [he gives Carl a quick hug]
Suzie’s Father: My little girl! She’s okay!
Carl: Whoa, whoa, whoa, who’s Edgar, bitch?
Suzie’s Father: Edgar…is her horse.
Carl: Oh! [laughs]
Suzie: Dr. Carl?
Carl: You know my name. [leans in closer to her] It’s me, Dr Carl, it’s me, Dr Carl…
Suzie’s Father: It’s nice to have a doctor in the family
Carl: No, I’m an orderly. Dr Carl’s my deejay name.
[Video cover art is shown again]
Announcer: Wake Up Little Suzie. Coming Soon.
Thanks to Ann*e Hussey for this transcript!