Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 26: Episode 11

00k: Jennifer Lopez

TV Funhouse

Voice-Over: You just won the Super Bowl, what are you going to do next?

Trent Dilfer: Iím going to Disney World

Voice-Over: (as words scroll across screen) The Disney organization wishes to apologize to Super Bowl MVP Ray Lewis, who, because of his conviction for obstruction of justice, was not invited to Disney World in favor of quarterback Trent Dilfer. Disney now acknowledges Trent Dilfer sucks, and wishes to make amends to Ray Lewis with this exciting new home videoÖ.

(Show Walt Disney Pictures feature presentation clip)

Voice-Over: Itís an all-star cast of Disney favorites and the Super Bowl MVP in Ray of Light

(Ray of Light appears on screen)

Ray Lewis: (singing)
Dudes you hanging with have been bad Donít say nothiní to make Ďem mad You can smile, it ainít no crime You got the number one defense of all time

Voice-Over: With classic Disney Adventures

(shows scene from Bambi where Bambiís mother is shot)

Bambi: Keep running, keep running

(gunshot is heard)

(shows Ray Lewis escaping in limo with blood on his jersey)

Ray Lewis: Oh Snap! I didnít see nothingí

(shows some scenes from the Lion King)

Voice-Over: Ray Lewis is on the scene with all your Disney favorites

Ray Lewis: I didnít kill no mother f***iní lion. I donít know who did it. We need to forget about that Simba s*** and focus on this Pittsburgh game. Okay, I saw a f***iní wildebeest do something man.

(shows scene from Pinocchio)

Geppetto: Pinocchio

Voice-Over: With Ravens teammate, Shannon Sharpe

Shannon Sharpe: Yo leave the man alone. This is the best player in football. He didnít take your f***iní puppet.

Voice-Over: And songs by Elton John

(shows scene from Lion King)

Elton John: (singing)
And squealing on your friend is the hardest part of life So try to focus on football And

Voice-Over: Take Ray Lewis home on video and DVD

(shows scene from The Beauty and the Beast where the Beast gets stabbed)

(shows Ray Lewis escaping in limo aqain)

Ray Lewis: Oh Dip, I didnít see nothiní

(Ray of Light appears on screen)

Voice-Over: Disneyís Ray of Light Rated R

(shows Ray Lewis on the cliff from Lion King)

Ray Lewis: (singing) I didnít kill no mother f***iní lion

Voice-Over: (quickly) Not authorized by Ray Lewis. Puff Daddyís Fantasia coming next Christmas.

Ray Lewis: (singing) I didnít see nobody kill no one

(End Credits of TV Funhouse)

Submitted by: Zack Carman

SNL Transcripts