Julia Stiles' Monologue

.....Julia Stiles
.....Tracy Morgan



Julia Stiles: It is great to be here hosting "Saturday Night Live". This is actually the 500th original episode of the show.

Tracy Morgan: [ walks onstage ] Hey-ey, Julia! Julia, I saw you in that movie!

Julia Stiles: Oh.. you mean, "Save The Last Dance"?

Tracy Morgan: Yeah! I thought you were wonderful in it.

Julia Stiles: Wow, Tracy, thanks!

Tracy Morgan: And the scene where you kissed that black dude? It was such a tender moment, man, I thought I was gonna cry.

Julia Stiles: That's real nice.. that's real nice..

Tracy Morgan: Yeah. So, after the show, I was thinking, if you hungry, we can go over to Twin Donuts, or we can just go over to your place.

Julia Stiles: Aren't you married?

Tracy Morgan: Yeah. That's why I said your place. [ looks at audience ] Hey, what are you people staring at! I don't know what century y'all livin' in, but a black man gettin' together wit' a white lady - this ain't no show!

Julia Stiles: Tracy, this is a show. That's the audience. They're supposed to be staring at you.

Tracy Morgan: [ laughs ] That's funny! Now, like I was sayin'.. I saw you makin' out wit' that black dude, and I just said, "Man, I got to git wit' you, girl!"

Julia Stiles: Tracy, I was acting. It was a movie.

Tracy Morgan: Whoa, wait a minute! nobody can act that good, Boo! You know what people say: "Once you go black, you don't never go back!"

Julia Stiles: Come on, Tracy, you're smarter than that.

Tracy Morgan: No, I'm not! [ singing ] "You got jungle fever! You got jungle fever!"

Julia Stiles: Tracy.. "Jungle Fever"? That's a horrible stereotype.

Tracy Morgan: I don't mind that - or the one about us having long dongs.

Julia Stiles: Okay. That's enough.

Tracy Morgan: [ sullen ] I guess you're right. I'm sorry, and I hope you can forgive me. And I hope you save the last dance for me! [ to the band ] Hit it, Lenny! [ starts dancing ]

Julia Stiles: Okay, what are you doing?

Tracy Morgan: I'm gettin' my dance on! I bet that guy Derek King do it like that, right?

Julia Stiles: Stop. This is never gonna work. I am a 19-year-old college student, and you are a 35-year-old man with five kids.

Tracy Morgan: Aaaaannndd?

Julia Stiles: My parents are watching. [ whispers ] I'll meet you at Twin Donuts after the show..

Tracy Morgan: [ laughs ] I got it! Hit it, Lenny!

[ they dance together ]

Julia Stiles: We have a great show tonight, Aerosmith is here. So stick around, we'll be right back!


SNL Transcripts