Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 26: Episode 16


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:



Bit Players:


April 7th, 2001

Alec Baldwin

Coldplay

None

Kid Rock

David Spade

None

A Message From the President of the United States
Summary: President George W. Bush (Will Ferrell) delivers a list of his orders to China.

Recurring Characters: President George W. Bush.

Transcript


Montage


Alec Baldwin's Monologue
Summary: Bill Clinton (Darrell Hammond) gives now-single Alec Baldwin some pointers on meeting women.

Recurring Characters: Bill Clinton.


Reliable Investments
Summary: While advising an investor (Ana Gasteyer) on recent Wall Street woes, a broker (Alec Baldwin) jumps to his death.

Transcript


Delicious Dish
Summary: Pete Schweddy (Alec Baldwin) discusses his new ball park weiner business with Margaret Jo McCullen (Ana Gasteyer) and new co-anchor Lynn Bershad (Rachel Dratch).

Recurring Characters: Margaret Jo McCullen, Pete Schweddy.

Transcript


Tough Guy
Summary: Sgt. Jack Wilcox (Alec Baldwin) lets his fellow soldiers knows that he's ready to take on the Chinese single-handedly.

Transcript


Inside the Actors Studio
Summary: Charles Nelson Reilly (Alec Baldwin) receives the royal treatment from James Lipton (Will Ferrell).

Recurring Characters: James Lipton.

Transcript


Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina Fey
Summary: Tracy Morgan discusses what happened with Daryl Strawberry. Jimmy Fallon delivers "I Have An Opinion" International. Tina Fey delivers a rant against Hugh Hefner's girlfriends. Kid Rock and David Spade present the latest Hollywood Minute news.

Transcript


Coldplay performs "Yellow"


Red Ships of Spain
Summary: Robert Goulet (Will Ferrell) and his brothers Wes (Chris Parnell) and Ken (Alec Baldwin) star together in a new musical.

Recurring Characters: Robert Goulet.

Transcript


The Bush Tax Cut
Summary: Tom Daschle (Chris Kattan) and Richard Gephardt (Darrell Hammond) ruin a press conference while discussing the Bush tax cut.

Recurring Characters: Richard Gephardt.


Lasting Impressions
Summary: Artists Tony Villone (Alec Baldwin) and Ricky (Jimmy Fallon) show how to add a touch of class to photos by painting them inside of a brandy snifter.

Transcript


Coldplay performs "Don't Panic"


Goodnights



Barnes&Noble.com



Dress Rehearsal Cuts

Terrence Maddox
Summary: Terrence Maddox (Will Ferrell) and fellow vagrant Sebastian Clay (Alec Baldwin) compete to be the subjects of a Black & White photograpy class.

Recurring Characters: Terrance Maddox.

Transcript



SNL Transcripts




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