Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 26: Bonus Episode 2
February 8th, 2001
A Message From The President Of The United States
: President George W. Bush (Will Ferrell) offers taxpayers $1,600 if they'll promise to take him seriously as their leader.
: President George W. Bush, Dick Cheney.
: Alex Trebek (Will Ferrell) is frustrated by the antics of Ozzy Osbourne (Horatio Sanz), Martha Stewart (Ana Gasteyer) and Sean Connery (Darrell Hammond).
: Alex Trebek, Ozzy Osbourne, Martha Stewart, Sean Connery.
Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina Fey
: Hannibal Lecter (Darrell Hammond) gives tips for combatting flu season and tries to get inside Tina Fey's head.
: Hannibal Lecter.
Hitting on Jennifer
: Will Ferrell wants to get his hands all over Jennifer Lopez's big ass.