Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 27: Episode 8

This free script provided by

Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


December 8th, 2001

Hugh Jackman

Mick Jagger



White House Meeting
Summary: Al Gore (Darrell Hammond) phones the White House during a crucial meeting.

Recurring Characters: President George W. Bush, Vice-President Dick Cheney, Al Gore, Donald Rumsfeld.



Hugh Jackman's Monologue
Summary: Hugh Jackman sings "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas."


Loose Bear
Summary: Loose Bear scares the crap out of you when you're constipated.


Jarret's Room
Summary: Jarret (Jimmy Fallon) and Gobey (Horatio Sanz) crack up over their suitemate's (Jeff Richards) embarrassing home videos.

Recurring Characters: Jarret, Gobey, D.J. Jonathan Feinstein.


The Robert Goulet All-Holiday Special
Recurring Characters: Robert Goulet.


Family Christmas Portrait
Summary: Messed-up photographers (Hugh Jackman, Seth Meyers) wreck havoc for a family posing for a portrait at Sear's.

Mick Jagger performs "God Give Me Everything I Want"
Also Appeared: 92l

Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina Fey
Summary: Chris Kattan's gives a Terrible Re-Enactment of Geraldo Rivera's fall in Afghanistan. Drunk Girl (Jeff Richards) hits on Jimmy Fallon during her commentary.

Recurring Characters: Drunk Girl.


Hello, Dolly
Summary: More grotesque - yet, cute - dolls are put on display.

Recurring Characters: Deanna Nolen Gray.

Mick Jagger's Dressing Room
Summary: Mick Jagger talks to his reflection (Jimmy Fallon) in his dressing room mirror.


Superman's Fortress of Solitude
Summary: Superman's (Hugh Jackman) parents (Will Ferrell, Maya Rudolph) make awkward small talk with their son.

Recurring Characters: Superman.


Mick Jagger performs "Vision Of Paradise"

The Donatella Versace Show
Summary: Donatella Versace (Maya Rudolph) interviews fashion experts.

Recurring Characters: Donatella Versace.

The Christmas Kangaroo
Summary: Hugh Jackman recalls his dad (Will Ferrell) fighting with the Christmas Kangaroo, and subsequently getting anal-raped.



Dress Rehearsal Cuts

Little Sleuths
Summary: Little sleuths Bookie Newton (Seth Meyers) and kid sister Sam (Amy Poehler) help early 1900's British detective Alistair Chesterfield (Hugh Jackman) deduce who killed Lady Worthington.

Recurring Characters: Bookie Newton, Sam.

Note: This sketch appears as a bonus feature on SNL's Best of Amy Poehler DVD.


SNL Transcripts