01j: Josh Hartnett / Pink
Josh Hartnett's Monologue
Josh Hartnett: Thank you, thanks for coming along you guys. Thanks, thank you. Thanks a lot yeah, alright... no no no, it's okay, it's okay. Thanks a lot you guys.
Hi, I'm Josh Hartnett. Well, you know what? I know you guys are probably expecting to see the same old Josh Hartnett stuff tonight, but... you're in for a big surprise... because I'm not gonna be the Josh Hartnett that you're used to seeing, alright?
Jimmy Fallon: Josh, Josh, Josh! Can I talk to you for a second?
Josh Hartnett: Yeah… Jimmy, what are you doing? I'm kind of in the middle of something…
Jimmy Fallon: What are you doing? What are you doing?
Josh Hartnett: What do you mean? What are you talking about? I'm being the new Josh Hartnett, you know, I think people are kinda sick of the old Josh Hartnett.
Jimmy Fallon: No, not, not, not a good idea.
Josh Hartnett: Well, I'm trying to think outside of the Josh Hartnett box.
Jimmy Fallon: Not cool man! Not cool!
Josh Hartnett: Okay…well, how would you know about that anyway?
Jimmy Fallon: I did it already…I became the new Jimmy Fallon.
Josh Hartnett: What are you talking about? When did you do this?
Jimmy Fallon: This was way back…in 2000…
Josh Hartnett: Oh…
Jimmy Fallon: Things were different back then.
Josh Hartnett: I remember that.
Jimmy Fallon: Yeah, I mean, you gotta remember this was a long time ago. This was back before they had iPods, you know… This is back when cell phones… now they're this big… back then they were this big. I tried to be the new Jimmy Fallon but I was young. I trusted the wrong people… I don't know, take a look…
(shows a picture of Jimmy with a mustache and shorts)
Josh Hartnett: That's… that's not good man.
Jimmy Fallon: Yeah… I, I know…
Josh Hartnett: I mean, that's pretty bad.
Jimmy Fallon: Yeah, yeah, I know.
Josh Hartnett: I mean… I really can't believe you still work here…
Jimmy Fallon: Hey, let it go! Alright? Look, my point is that not everybody is tired of the old Josh Hartnett.
Josh Hartnett: Really?
Jimmy Fallon: Yeah, yeah…
Josh Hartnett: Are you… you're not tired of the old Josh Hartnett?
Jimmy Fallon: I've been working with you all week, I'm a little tired of the old Josh Hartnett.
Josh Hartnett: Well, did you use to like the old Josh Hartnett?
Jimmy Fallon: Yeah, the new Jimmy Fallon… he really, really, really liked… almost too much. I mean, do I have to show you the picture again?… It was too much.
(shows the picture again)
Josh Hartnett: Yeah, well thanks Jimmy, thanks a lot man.
Jimmy Fallon: You're welcome.
Josh Hartnett: Do you wanna stick around for the rest of this or…
Jimmy Fallon: No, I gotta go…
Josh Hartnett: Alright man… Jimmy Fallon.
Well, We do have a great show for you guys tonight. The old Josh Hartnett is here. Pink is here! Stick around, we'll be right back!
Thanks to Tal Horwitz for this transcript!