Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 27: Episode 12




01l: Britney Spears

Britney Spears' Monologue

.....Britney Spears
.....Justin Timberlake
.....Chris Kattan

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen -- Britney Spears!

(Chris Kattan comes out dressed as Britney Spears, then start dancing. The real Britney Spears comes out behind him)

Britney Spears: Chris. What are you doing?

Chris Kattan: I’m Britney Spears. Dancing and singing. Uh Security…ahaha.

Britney Spears: (whispering) Chris, I’m Britney Spears.

Chris Kattan: Oh really?

Britney Spears: Yes.

Chris Kattan: Are you not that Innocent? Cause I am. (starts dancing to Britneys ‘Innocent’).

Britney Spears: Chris, look at me okay. Listen to me. You’re not Britney Spears. Okay?

Chris Kattan: Uh, hello. I have boobs. I’m dating Justin Timberlake.

Britney Spears: you’re dating Justin Timberlake? What did you two do last night?

Chris Kattan: Well. I think I can announce, that I’m no longer a virgin. And uh…then we just worked out on our dance move.

Britney Spears: Oh, I wanna see your move. Come on

Chris Kattan: you wanna see my moves?

Britney Spears: Yes please, I wanna see…

Chris Kattan: You wanna se MY moves? (points at himself).

Britney Spears: Yes Please.

Chris Kattan: Okay. (starts dancing)

Britney Spears: That was…That was pretty good Chris.

Chris Kattan: Thanks.

Britney Spears: Uhm..tjeck this out. (Britney starts dancing).

Chris Kattan: Okay, I don’t know what that was.

Britney Spears: Alright you know what. I know how to settle this. Justin can you come out here for a second.

(Justin Timberlake enters the stage).

Justin Timberlake: What’s up. Hello Kattan. Listen uh..(to Britney) I just wanna say I had a really great time last night.

Britney Spears: Justin, that wasn’t me. I wasn’t…that was not me.

(Chris raises his hand)

Justin Timberlake: (feeling sick) Kattan, You gotta stop doing that man.

Britney Spears: Chris what made you think you could get away with this?

Chris Kattan: I don’t know. I’m sorry, my personal life is falling apart, okay. "Corky Romano" didn’t do as well, as I thought, you know. I’m keeping my fingers cross for the video, so…

Britney Spears: This isn’t cool, Chris, seriously, it’s not cool.

Chris Kattan: Right.

(Justin Timberlake still feeling sick)

Chris Kattan: I uh…I do Mango though, that’s kind of cool…(in Mango voice)..No you can’t have me. (Cheers from audience)

Britney Spears: That’s not cool

Chris Kattan: Okay..alright..well I’m gonna..go take a shower for like a couple a days okay

Britney Spears: yeah

(Chris leaves the stage…applause)

Britney Spears: I’m sorry about that folks, but we have a great show.

Justin Timberlake: Britney Spears is here (applause).

Britney Spears: Stick around, we’ll be right back.


Submitted by: Steen Christensen


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