01p: Cameron Diaz / Jimmy Eat World

M-TV Spring Break

Molly Simms.....Amy Poehler
Jennifer.....Maya Rudolph
Ranata.....Cameron Diaz
Keith.....Tracy Morgan
Donald Sutherland.....Will Ferrell
Glenn Close.....Ana Gasteyer



[ open on MTV Spring Break logo, Molly Simms surrounded by college students who scream after everything she says ]

Molly Simms: Hey, y'all! Welcome to MTV's All-Request Spring Break Jams 2002! We're coming to you live from Cancun, Mexico! Hey, is Mexico outrageous or what! We're gonna be hanging all day playing your favorite Spting Break jams! [ beach ball hits her in the head ] Okay, let's get this party started! Hey! What's your name?

Jennifer: Hi, my name is Jennifer, I go to the University of Alabama! I'm majoring in Hotel Management, with a minor in Communications!

Molly Simms: Alright! And what's your name?

Ranata: Hey, what's up! My name's Ranata, I'm a Junior at the University of Arizona, where I'm currently studying Meteorology!

Molly Simms: Okay, Ranata what Spring Break jam do you want to hear?

Ranata: I would like to hear Shania Twain's "That Don't Impress Me Much"!

Molly Simms: Wow. That's an oldie. But if it's your favorite jam..

Ranata: Oh, it is!

Molly Simms: Well, then that's what we're here to do! Here it is, Shania Twain's "That Don't Impress Me Much"!

[ song plays, as Ranata and Jennifer ]

Molly Simms: Alright! Okay! That was really hot! [ beach ball hits her in the head ] Okay! Alright! you're playing a little rough there, guys, let's cut it out! Okay, let's see what's up with Jennifer here! Jennifer, what jam do you want to hear?

Jennifer: Molly, I would like to hear Shania Twain's "That Don't Impress Me Much"!

Molly Simms: Really? You don't want to hear Ludicrus, or Ja Rule, or Shakira? I mean, Ranata just requested that!

Jennifer: No way, Molly. That's my jam! I think it's got a great groove, and I love the message!

Molly Simms: Well.. it's a song from two years ago that wasn't even good to start with.. but here's

[ song plays ]

Molly Simms: Alright! Okay! Why don't we move over here and see what other jams are in store for us, okay? Hey, sexy! What's your name?

Keith: What's up, Molly! My name is Keith! Go Brown!

Molly Simms: Oh, oh, you go to Brown?

Keith: No, I don't go to school, I work at UPS!

Molly Simms: Okay, and what do you want to get your groove on to?

Keith: Oh, man! Get up for my boy C.C. and L'il Fats back home! I would like to request "Don't Impress Me Much" by Shania Twizzain!

Molly Simms: What? Oh, my God..

[ song plays ]

Molly Simms: God, what is with you people?! Is this the only song y'all kick out and jam to? It's so lame! Y'all suck! From all of us out here in Cancun and Big Audio, happy Spring Break. [ beach balls repeatedly hit her in the head ] I swar to God! I'm gonna kick that beach ball in your face, y'all! Stop it!

[ title card superimposes onto screen ]



[ camera zooms away from set, as Lorne Michaels approachs Cameron Diaz ]

[ camera pans across the studio to reveal Seth Meyers prancing about with a violin. He jaunts past a set where Will Ferrell and Ana Gasteyer sit made up as Donald Sutherland and Glenn Close. ]



Glenn Close: There you have it. A cockeyed look at the Spring Break phenomenon, from SNL.

Donald Sutherland: Not to mention, the velvet voice of Shania Twain.

Glenn Close: That does impress us much.

Donald Sutherland: There'll be more laughs.. to come.. here on the 530th.. "Saturday Night Live".

[ Glenn Close pours bottle of Nyquil into a glass and toasts Donald Sutherland ]

[ fade ]


SNL Transcripts