Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 28: Episode 1

02a: Matt Damon / Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band


Hunter #1.....Horatio Sanz
Hunter #2.....Jimmy Fallon

[ open on two hunters squatting behind marsh weeds, looking for potential kills ]

Hunter #1: We're not getting anything today..

Hunter #2: I don't even care! I'm just happy to be up and around after that accident on the job.

Hunter #1: I know the company paid your bills.. but missing all those days at work must have been rough on the wallet.

Hunter #2: Nicole was worried for a little bit.. but I got insurance that pays for all that.

Duck In Pond: AFLAC!

Hunter #1: ??

Duck In Pond: AFLAC! AFLAC!

[ the hunters raise their guns, blowing the AFLAC duck to smithereens ]

Announcer: Happy hunting season, from the National Rifle Association.

[ fade ]

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