Air Date: Host: Musical Guest: Special Guests: Cameos:

October 12th, 2002 Sarah Michelle Gellar Faith Hill None Jim Downey

A Message From the President of the United States

Summary: President Bush (Chris Parnell) warns Saddam Hussein of his intentions. Recurring Characters: President George W. Bush, Dick Cheney. Transcript

Montage

Note: Sen. John McCain was booked to host this week's episode, but had to postpone it for a week because of a scheduling conflict.

Sarah Michelle Gellar's Monologue

Summary: A vampire (Chris Kattan) in the audience is unappreciative of Sarah Michelle Gellar's snide "Buffy the Vampire slayer" reference. Transcript

Swiffer Sleepers

Summary: Kids can help keep the house clean with specially-designed dustcloth pajamas. Transcript

The Be Safe Gang

Summary: Policeman (Fred Armisen) advises kids to use their bodies to protect themselves. Transcript

Musical Dentist

Summary: Dr. Kaplan (Chris Kattan) dreams of his hygienist (Sarah Michelle Gellar) while operating. Transcript

Trans American Airlines

Summary: Unlike other airlines, Trans America guarantees racial profiling. Transcript

Corona I

Summary: A drunk guy (Jimmy Fallon) vacationing on the beach accidentally tosses a beer bottle instead of his buzzing cellphone. Transcript

Saddam Hussein Briefing

Summary: Saddam Hussein (Darrell Hammond) outlines his strategy with his cabinet, then introduces his secret doubles (Chris Kattan, Horatio Sanz). Recurring Characters: Saddam Hussein. Transcript

Corona II

Summary: A drunk guy (Jimmy Fallon) vacationing on the beach once again accidentally tosses a beer bottle instead of his buzzing cellphone. Transcript

Faith Hill performs "Cry"

Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina Fey

Summary: Steven, the annoying Dell kid (Seth Meyers), comments on teen depression. Tina Fey supports the downfall of the Jewish Federation of Greater Seattle. Ripple (Maya Rudolph) & Delorian Ramada (Sarah Michelle Gellar) are unglamorous jet-setters in the Hilton mold. Transcript

Making the Video

Summary: Christina Aguilera (Sarah Michelle Gellar) documents the making of her new trashy video. Note: Christina Aguilera Transcript

Arli$$

Summary: Sarah Michelle Gellar promotes "Arli$$" on DVD because not laughing while watching it can prevent embarrassing pants-wetting. Afterwards, Tracy Morgan tries to engage Gellar and Faith Hill in a catfight designed for his own personal amusement. Transcript

Faith Hill performs "I'm Free"

"I Love My Man"

Summary: A sexy woman (Maya Rudolph) knows just how her man (Tracy Morgan) feels about her. Transcript

Corona III

Summary: A drunk guy (Jimmy Fallon) vacationing on the beach once again accidentally hits a passing stranger when he tosses a beer bottle. Transcript

Blame Saddam

Summary: Saddam Hussein might not be responsible for 9/11, but Americans don't mind using that as a reason to be pissed off at him just the same. Transcript

Sexual Harrassment Seminar

Summary: Merv the Perv (Chris Parnell) disrupts a sexual harrassment seminar to hit on the women that are present. Recurring Characters: Merv the Perv. Transcript

Goodnights