Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 28: Episode 2




02b: Sarah Michelle Gellar / Faith Hill

Blade Saddam

Announcer.....Maya Rudolph
Unemployed Man #1.....Chris Parnell
College Graduate.....Sarah Michelle Gellar
Unemployed Man #2.....Will Forte
Unemployed Woman.....Amy Poehler
Black Man.....Tracy Morgan
Union Worker.....Jeff Richards

Announcer: The American people have spoken:

Unemployed Man: I worked hard all my life. I kept my mouth shut, and paid my taxes. And now, all I have to show for it is a pink slip from Tyco and a looted retirement fund. You can't get away with that, Saddam.

Announcer: Shock..

College Graduate: Eight years of higher education? Sixty-grand in student loans? And now, the job that Alcoa recruited me for just isn't there any more? Why, Saddam? Why?

Announcer: Frustration..

Unemployed Man #2: Sure, my broker said eToys sounds like a real cash cow. Your kids won't even ask where their college funds went, when you're all rolling in it. Damn you, Saddam!

Announcer: Anger!

Unemployed Woman: I thought I was safe. I mean, Saddam would have to take down the whole company to get to me, right? I worked for Enron. When are we gonna take a stand?

Announcer: Outrage..

[ show Black Man digging in garbage can ]

Black Man: You can't threaten my way of life any more, Saddam!

Announcer: Resolve..

[ show Union Worker holding up an "Unfair" sign ]

Union Worker: We shut down the whole west coast, so our government would do the right thing - and nail Saddam!

Announcer: Saddam, America is pissed off. Maybe not at you. But you'll do.


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