Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 28: Episode 6

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


November 16th, 2002

Brittany Murphy



Adam Sandler

Rob Schneider

Kelly Rowland

Garrett Morris

Adam Sandler's Chanukah Song III
Summary: Adam Sandler performs his third incarnation of the popular "Chanukah Song", with help from the Dreidels and Rob Schneider.

Note: In the dress rehearsal version, which has been edited into repeats, Rob Schneider dons a blonde wig and remains on stage for the entire song.



Brittany Murphy's Monologue
Summary: Brittany Murphy espouses SNL trivia unto the audience: the West Coast cast members and the East Coast cast members have a long-standing rivalry, which they finally settle via an "8 Mile"-style rap-off.


"Welcome Back, Potter"
Summary: In a new sitcom debuting this Fall, a grown-up Harry Potter (Will Forte) will come back to teach at the now-downtrodden Hogwart's Castle.

Recurring Characters: Harry Potter.


The Leather Man
Summary: The Leather Man (Jimmy Fallon) talks an attractive customer (Brittany Murphy) into a pair of leather snakeskin pants, while Choo-Choo (Horatio Sanz) is the unfortunate victim of a snake bite.

Recurring Characters: Leather Man, Choo-Choo.


Summary: Phil Donahue (Darrell Hammond) is distraught that no one is watching his show, even as the likes of Michael Moore (Jeff Richards) and Barbra Streisand (Maya Rudolph) offer explanations.

Recurring Characters: Phil Donahue, Michael Moore, Rev. Al Sharpton, Barbra Streisand.

Note: In a promo for his next show, Donahue walks amongst nearly-empty audience seats in Studio 6-H, where "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" is filmed.


Jarret's Room
Summary: Jarret (Jimmy Fallon) and Goby (Horatio Sanz) gab with an overpsyched co-ed (Brittany Murphy) who wants to protest the killing of turkeys at Thanksgiving.

Recurring Characters: Jarret, Goby, DJ Jonathan Feinstein.


Burrell's Statement
Summary: Princess Di's butler, Paul Burrell (Seth Meyers), can't hide his gay tendancies.


Tennis Talk with Time Traveling Scott Joplin
Summary: Scott Joplin (Maya Rudolph) hassles Anna Kournikova (Brittany Murphy).

Recurring Characters: Scott Joplin.


Nelly & Kelly Rowland perform "Dilemma"

Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina Fey
Summary: Drunk Girl (Jeff Richards) can't stay focused on her drinking study commentary. Liza Minelli (Maya Rudolph) and David Gest (Chris Kattan) comment on the cancellation of their reality show.

Recurring Characters: Drunk Girl, Liza Minelli, David Gest.


Astronaut Jones
Summary: Astronaut Jones (Tracy Morgan), Garrett Morris and Nelly enjoy goggling a buxom space creature (Brittany Murphy).

Recurring Characters: Astronaut Jones.


TV Funhouse
Summary: Rob Smigel presents "Religetables", which brings spirituality into the Vegi-Tales world.


My Big Thick Novel
Summary: Jack Handey recalls slipping out of arm's length while square dancing.


Nelly performs "Hot In Herre"

The Girl With No Gaydar
Summary: Nicole (Rachel Dratch) fails to realize that a lesbian sculptist (Brittany Murphy) is hitting on her.

Recurring Characters: Nicole.


SNL Transcripts