Saturday Night Live Transcripts
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Season 28: Episode 13
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 Air Date:
Host:
Musical Guest:
Special Guests:
Cameos:
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February 22nd, 2003
Christopher Walken
Foo Fighters
None
Steve Martin
Will Ferrell
Britney Spears
Jim Carrey
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Hardball
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Summary: Chris Matthews (Darrell Hammond) spars with French Foreign Minister Dominique de Villepin (Christopher Walken).
Recurring Characters: Chris Matthews.
Transcript
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Christopher Walken's Monologue
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Summary: Ever the traditionalist, Christopger Walken sings and dances for the audience's delight.
Also Hosted: 89k, 92d, 95j, 99p, 00t.
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Pranksters
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Summary: Playful host Zach Ricky (Seth Meyers) is horrified when Larry Hobson (Christopher Walken), one of his older guests, presents a prank video in which he kills a co-worker with a tire iron in the name of a good laugh.
Recurring Characters: Zach Ricky.
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The Continental
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Summary: The Continental (Christopher Walken) lures a women into his penthouse apartment with the hopes of enticing her into becoming the spokesmodel for his new line of cosmetics.
Recurring Characters: The Continental.
Transcript
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Life Raft
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Summary: Crazy Captain Tyus (Christopher Walken) wants to be leader of the men who are stranded on his life raft after surviving his boat's crash upon an iceberg.
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African American Archives
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Summary: Don Cheadle (Dean Edwards) salutes Lucious Claymont (Tracy Morgan), the first black man to yell at the screen during a horror movie.
Recurring Characters: Don Cheadle.
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Colonel Angus
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Summary: Colonel Angus' (Christopher Walken) return down South sparks quaint reflection from everyone at the plantation.
Transcript
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Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina Fey
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Summary: Christina Aguliera (Maya Rudolph) speaks her own language. Steve Martin makes a pointless cameo to fill air time. Will Ferrell announces that he's now living on a farm with Britney Spears.
Recurring Characters: Christina Aguliera.
Transcript
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Foo Fighters perform "All My Life"
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Also Appeared: 95g, 99d, 05e.
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Love-ahs
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Summary: Roger (Will Ferrell) and Virginia Klarvin (Rachel Dratch) meet once again with Professor Walter (Christopher Walken).
Recurring Characters: Roger Klarvin, Virginia Klarvin, Walter.
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Foo Fighters perform "Times Like These (One-Way Motorway)"
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Note: Jim Carrey joins the band and performs a guitar solo with his leg.
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The Rialto Grande
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Summary: Buddy Mills (Chris Kattan) jokes around with fellow comic Vic Lester (Christopher Walken).
Recurring Characters: Rodney "The Zipper" Calzoun, Buddy Mills, Mackey, cocktail waitresses.
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Dress Rehearsal Cuts
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Antiques Roadshow
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Summary: Homeowner (Horatio Sanz) checks the value of a beer stein.
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Second Time Around
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Summary: Glenda Goodwin (Maya Rudolph) speaks with (Rachel Dratch) and (Christopher Walken).
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Antiques Roadshow II
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Summary: Homemaker (Amy Poehler) checks the value of her family photo album.
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TV Funhouse
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Summary: Rob Smigel presents another adventure with The X-Presidents.
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African American Archives II
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Recurring Characters: Don Cheadle.
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Antiques Roadshow III
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Summary: Man (Tracy Morgan) checks the value of a century-old corn dog.
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Board Meeting
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Summary: Executive (Christopher Walken) is pre-occupied with the blossoming romance between Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez during an important board meeting.
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African American Archives III
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Summary: Don Cheadle (Dean Edwards) salutes Mushmouth from the Fat Albert gang.
Recurring Characters: Don Cheadle.
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The Jukebox
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Summary: A man (Christopher Walken) has reservations about what songs teenagers can play on his jukebox.
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SNL Transcripts
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