May 3rd, 2003
Ashton Kutcher
50 Cent
G Unit
Nate Dogg
The U.S.S. Lincoln President George W. Bush (Chris Parnell) addresses Navy personnel on U.S.S. Lincoln. Recurring Characters: President George W. Bush.
Jarret's Room Sole viewer from Iceland (Kutcher) stays in Jarret's (Jimmy Fallon) dorm room. Recurring Characters: Jarret, Goby, D.J. Jonathan Feinstein.
Madonna: An American Life Matt Lauer (Seth Meyers) interviews rapidly-aging Madonna (Amy Poehler). Recurring Characters: Madonna.
Plagierism Teacher is well aware of students' history paper plagierisms.
50 Cent performs "In Da Club"
Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina Fey Liza Minelli (Maya Rudolph) & David Gest (Chris Kattan) celebrate his birthday. Tracy Morgan has eaten Saddam Hussein's birthday cake. Patrick (Will Forte) & Gunther Kelly (Fred Armisen) sing SARS Prevention Song. Recurring Characters: Liza Minelli, David Gest, Patrick Kelly, Gunther Kelly.
The Falconer The Falconer (Will Forte) faces competition from The Muskrateer (Kutcher). Tracy Morgan & Dean Edwards don't want Kutcher to "Punk" them. Recurring Characters: The Falconer.
Politics Today High school dropouts discuss the day's big issues. Recurring Characters: Skeeter.
50 Cent with G Unit & Nate Dogg performs "21 Questions"
50's Ent. Prisoners incite riot when they mistake pre-execution performance.