Air Date: Host: Musical Guest: Special Guests: May 3rd, 2003 Ashton Kutcher 50 Cent G Unit Nate Dogg
	The U.S.S. Lincoln President George W. Bush (Chris Parnell) addresses Navy personnel on U.S.S. Lincoln. Recurring Characters: President George W. Bush.
	Ashton Kutcher's Monologue Kutcher has forgotten to wear pants for his monologue.
	Count Chocula Silver Count Chocula (Jimmy Fallon) changes marketing approach to address seniors.
	Jarret's Room Sole viewer from Iceland (Kutcher) stays in Jarret's (Jimmy Fallon) dorm room. Recurring Characters: Jarret, Goby, D.J. Jonathan Feinstein.
	Madonna: An American Life Matt Lauer (Seth Meyers) interviews rapidly-aging Madonna (Amy Poehler). Recurring Characters: Madonna.
	Plagierism Teacher is well aware of students' history paper plagierisms.
	50 Cent performs "In Da Club"
	Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina Fey Liza Minelli (Maya Rudolph) & David Gest (Chris Kattan) celebrate his birthday. Tracy Morgan has eaten Saddam Hussein's birthday cake. Patrick (Will Forte) & Gunther Kelly (Fred Armisen) sing SARS Prevention Song. Recurring Characters: Liza Minelli, David Gest, Patrick Kelly, Gunther Kelly.
	The Falconer The Falconer (Will Forte) faces competition from The Muskrateer (Kutcher). Tracy Morgan & Dean Edwards don't want Kutcher to "Punk" them. Recurring Characters: The Falconer.
	Politics Today High school dropouts discuss the day's big issues. Recurring Characters: Skeeter.
	50 Cent with G Unit & Nate Dogg performs "21 Questions"
	50's Ent. Prisoners incite riot when they mistake pre-execution performance.
	Global Investments (Rerun) See: 01/18/03.
	Goodnights SNL Transcripts