Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 29: Episode 2


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:


October 11th, 2003

Justin Timberlake

Justin Timberlake

None

Carl Weathers

Hardball
Summary: Chris Matthews (Darrell Hammond) discusses the CIA leak in the White House.

Recurring Characters: Chris Matthews, Ann Coulter.

Transcript


Montage


Justin Timberlake's Monologue
Summary: One of Justin Timberlake's biggest fans turns out to be a middle-aged man (Steve Higgins).

Bio: Justin Timberlake (1981-) is a former vocalist for *NSync and the former boyfriend of Britney Spears. He began his solo career in 2002.

Transcript


Justin Timberlake performs "Rock Your Body"


Punk'd: Barely Legal
Summary: Ashton Kutcher's (Justin Timberlake) latest pranks have illegal results.

Note: Justin Timberlake was "Punk'd" by Ashton Kutcher on the show's premiere episodewhen he was fooled into thinking the IRS was seizing his property for not paying his taxes.

Transcript


CNN Breaking News
Summary: Arnold Schwarzenegger (Darrell Hammond) admits he doesn't know what he's doing.

Recurring Characters: Arnold Scwarzenegger.

Transcript


A Message From Nich Lachey & Jessica Simpson
Summary: Nick Lachey (Jimmy Fallon) rolls his eyes as Jessica Simpson (Justin Timberlake) tries to dispute rumors of her stupidity.

Transcript


Omletteville vs. Benny's
Summary: Dressed in silly food costumes, Benny's bacon-and-eggs-clad mascot (Chris Parnell) competes in a vocal feud with Omletteville's omelette-clad mascot (Justin Timberlake).

Note: In the dress rehearsal version, the sketch ends with a strip club owner (Fred Armisen) offers the two mascots jobs dancing in front of his establishment.


DirectTV
Summary: Gary Busey (Jeff Richards) expresses how much he loves his DirectTV.

Recurring Characters: Gary Busey.

Transcript


Boston Teens
Summary: Denise (Rachel Dratch) treats Sully (Jimmy Fallon) to an elegant birthday dinner.

Recurring Characters: Sully, Denise, Frank.

Transcript


Justin Timberlake performs "Senorita"


Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina Fey
Transcript


The Sharon Osborne Show
Summary: Sharon (Amy Poehler) and Ozzy Osbourne (Horatio Sanz) creep out their guests.

Recurring Characters: Sharon Osborne, Ozzy Osborne, Michael Bolton.


Rainbow Connection
Summary: Justin Timberlake's attempt at a duet with Kermit the Frog morphs into an all-out brawl with the puppeteer (Will Forte).

Transcript


Carl Weathers For Governor
Summary: Carl Weathers announces his bid for governor, hoping such a victory could mean a "Predator" trifecta.

Transcript


Justin's Dressing Room
Summary: Despite her nonchalence, Amy Poehler is excited to visit Justin Timberlake's dressing room.

Transcript


Justin Timberlake performs "Cry Me A River"


The Barry Gibb Talk Show
Summary: Brothers Barry (Jimmy Fallon) & Robin Gibb (Justin Timberlake) interview politicians.

Recurring Characters: Barry Gibb, Robin Gibb.

Transcript


Goodnights
Transcript



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