Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 29: Episode 2




03b: Justin Timberlake

Justin’s Dressing Room

.....Maya Rudolph
.....Rachel Dratch
.....Amy Poehler
.....Justin Timberlake

Maya: I think he’s even cuter in person.

Rachel: I know. He’s totally adorable.

Maya: I know.

Amy: Who? Who’s totally adorable?

Maya: What do you mean who? Justin Timberlake.

Amy: Eh.

Rachel: “Eh”…What do you mean “eh?”

Amy: I don’t know. I mean I love his album. And I mean I get it – I think he’s cute. But he just doesn’t really do it for me.

Maya: What?!

Rachel: You’re crazy!

Amy: Well I gotta go talk to your “boyfriend” about my sketch, so I’ll tell him that you love him.

Maya: Ugh, lucky.

Amy: [knocks on Justin’s dressing room door] Hey Justin.

Justin: Oh hey.

Amy: Hey, um, can I talk to you about the leprechaun sketch? Uh…it’s kinda noisy, you want me to close the door?

Justin: Why? Are we gonna make out?

Amy: [laughs nervously] What?

Justin: I-I was just kidding. Here, sit down.

Amy: Ok, um, there’s just a note I want to give you about the pot of gold part…

Justin: [gets closer] Oh I love the pot of gold part.

Amy: You do?

Justin: Yeah it’s funny.

Amy: Oh…you’re really funny in it.

Justin: Well we’re pretty awesome together.

Amy: [laughs nervously] Yeah. How old are you?

Justin: 22.

Amy: Wow you’re really mature.

Justin: Thanks.

[Amy stares at him]

Justin: So what about the scene?

Amy: Oh, yeah, right. Sorry. Um, the pot of gold’s already gonna be out there so you don’t need to bring it out. So, ya know, it’ll give you a little bit more time.

Justin: Ok cool.

Amy: Ok.

Justin: So, is that it?

Amy: Yeah.

Justin: Was it good for you?

Amy: [laughs nervously] “Was it good for you?” Like we were gonna have sex or something. God can you imagine that? [seriously] I mean can you imagine that?

Justin: Awkward…Well I gotta go get ready for the a –

Amy: Yeah totally. I get it. Um, Sorry I bothered you Jerstin. Jerstin?! I just called you Jerstin. You’re Justin. You’re Justin Timberlake. Why would I say Jer—I’m spitting on you too. Here let me wipe it off. [rubs on his chest and goes into his shirt a little]

Justin: Yeah ok. Ok thanks Rachel.

Amy: Oh, I’m Amy.

Justin: Sorry.

Amy: It doesn’t matter You’re the best! I really enjoy working with you [shakes his hand]

Justin: Alright

Amy: And you’ve just been really good tonight [clings to him by wrapping her arms and legs around him] Just, just just let me do this. Just let me do this.

Justin: Can somebody help me out here? [walks out with her still attached to him]


Submitted by: Catrina


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