Air Date: Host: Musical Guest: Special Guests:

October 18th, 2003 Halle Berry Britney Spears Zachary Woodlee George Wendt

Kobe Bryant

Summary: Kobe Bryant (Finesse Mitchell) and his wife Vanessa (Maya Rudolph) argue with one another before his rape trial. Transcript

Montage

Halle Berry's Monologue

Summary: Lorne Michaels wants to see Halle Berry and Britney Spears kiss. Bio: Named for Halle's Department Store in her Cleveland, Ohio hometown, Halle Berry (1966-) became the first African-American woman to win an Academy Award in 2002, for "Monster's Ball." Transcript

Gaystrogen

Summary: The pill that prevents middle-aged homosexuals from losing their gay sex drive. Transcript

The Don Zimmer Sports Spectacular

Summary: Don Zimmer (Horatio Sanz) is repeatedly slammed to the ground by his guests. Recurring Characters: Bob Costas, Pete Rose. Transcript

Donatella Versace

Summary: Donatella Versace (Maya Rudolph) throws her annual Halloween party. Note: Model played by Zachary Woodlee. Recurring Characters: Donatella Versace, Elton John.

Tel-e-Link

Summary: Happy phone-line customers tout their good service using technobabble.

Quick Ones

Summary: The pills office workers use to simulate the sexual experience. Transcript

Sushi Bar

Summary: Starkisha (Finesse Mitchell) celebrates her birthday at a sushi bar with friends. Recurring Characters: Starkisha, Appreciante.

The Sunday National Enquirer

Summary: Provides special edition fake news stories to brighten your weekend.

Britney Spears performs "Me Against The Music"

Also Appeared: 99s, 01l.

Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina Fey

Summary: Indian comic Billy Smith (Fred Armisen) tells less-than-stellar jokes. Superfan Bob Swerski (George Wendt) offers a sports commentary with his moron nephew (Horatio Sanz). Recurring Characters: Billy Smith, Bob Swerski. Transcript

The Best of Klymaxx

Summary: Klymaxx's greatest spoken-over performances.

Tom Brokaw

Summary: Tom Brokaw (Chris Parnell) is persuaded to record an answering machine message for his make-up girl (Halle Berry). Recurring Characters: Tom Brokaw.

Britney Spears performs "Everytime"

Ashford & Simpson Fan

Summary: A woman's (Halle Berry) day turns brighter when she meets Ashford (Kenan Thompson) & Simpson (Maya Rudolph).

Speedreader

Summary: A speedreader (Will Forte) quickly hits on a woman (Halle Berry) at a bar. Transcript

Goodnights

Transcript