Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 29: Episode 5

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

November 8th, 2003

Andy Roddick

Dave Matthews

John McEnroe

Trey Anastasio

Summary: Barbara Walters (Rachel Dratch) teases Martha Stewart (Amy Poehler) during interview.

Recurring Characters: Barbara Walters, Martha Stewart.

Note: In dress rehearsal, Darrell Hammond and Maya Rudolph opened the show with a parody of CBS' banned mini-series, "The Reagans."



Andy Roddick's Monologue
Summary: Inexperienced Andy Roddick is interrupted by Andre 3000.

Bio: Tennis star Andy Roddick (1982-) turned professional in 2000, and won his first Grand Slam title at the 2003 US Open.

Summary: People have their heads frozen now, in preparation of the cures that will come in the future.


Z-105 Morning Crew
Summary: Multi-voiced Joey Mack (Jimmy Fallon) gives Andy Roddick a hard time during their interview.

Recurring Characters: Joey Mack.


Battle Of The Sexes II
Summary: An aged Billie Jean King (Fred Armisen) challenges younger Andy Roddick to an all-out match.


Mrs. Dalrymple
Summary: A proper British nanny (Rachel Dratch) watches over a rowdy teenager (Andy Roddick). After the sketch, Chris Parnell and John McEnroe comment on Roddick's performance.

Anderson Mellner Communications Celebration
Summary: Daryl Hall (Will Forte) and John Oates (Fred Armisen) distribute plaques to achieving employees.

From The Audience
Summary: Venus and Serena's dad, John Williams (Kenan Thompson), wants to adopt Andy Roddick as his son.

Dave Matthews performs "Save Me"
Bio: Dave Matthews (1967-), the vocalist and guitarist from Dave Matthews Band, released his own solo album in 2003.

Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina Fey
Summary: Tim Calhoun (Will Forte) unveils the skeletons in his closet. Two-faced Rosie O'Donnell (Horatio Sanz) slaps Tina Fey, then makes Jimmy Fallon laugh.

Recurring Characters: Tim Calhoun, Rosie O'Donnell.


Tennis Talk with Time Traveling Scott Joplin
Summary: Scott Joplin (Maya Rudolph) mocks Andre Agassi of the Past (Seth Meyers), Present (Roddick) and Future (Will Forte).

Recurring Characters: Scott Joplin.


Merv The Perv
Summary: Merv the Perv (Chris Parnell) hits on women at gynecologist's (Andy Roddick) office.

Recurring Characters: Merv the Perv.


Dave Matthew performs "So Damn Lucky"

Jock Talk

Action News 13
Summary: Neverending musical cues hamper a breaking news broadcast.



SNL Transcripts