Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 29: Episode 9

This free script provided by

Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

January 10th, 2004

Jennifer Aniston

Black Eyed Peas

Al Franken

An Address By Donald Trump
Summary: Donald Trump (Darrell Hammond) discusses his new reality show.

Recurring Characters: Donald Trump, Jeff Zucker.



Jennifer Aniston's Monologue
Summary: Jennifer Aniston shows a fake clip of the final episode of "Friends", in which a dejected Joey (Horatio Sanz) takes his own life.


Paparazzi Photographers
Summary: Paparazzi photographers (Amy Poehler, Jennifer Aniston) harrass and photograph celebrities.

Recurring Characters: Paparazzi Photographer.


Britney Spears Wedding
Summary: Britney Spears (Jennifer Aniston) marries and divorces her buddy, Jason Alexander (Jimmy Fallon).

Recurring Characters: Britney Spears.


Summary: The pill that prevents middle-aged homosexuals from losing their gay sex drive.

Note: Repeat from 10/18/03.

Democratic National Committee
Summary: Democratic candidates doubt their capabilities.

Recurring Characters: Wesley Clark, John Edwards, Richard Gephardt, John Kerry, Joe Lieberman, Al Sharpton.


Black Eyed Peas performs "Where Is The Love?"
Bio: American hip-hop group Black Eyed Peas are,, Taboo, and Fergie.

Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina Fey
Summary: Steve Irwin (Jeff Richards) mixes up his baby with a chicken. Jimmy Fallon stops O.J. Simpson (Finesse Mitchell) from confessing. One man mobile uplink unit Al Franken interviews troops in Baghdad.

Recurring Characters: Steve Irwin, O.J. Simpson.


Saddam Calls Osama
Summary: Saddam Hussein (Horatio Sanz) makes an unfunny phone call to Osama bin Laden (Jimmy Fallon).

Recurring Characters: Saddam Hussein, Osama bin Laden.

Country Roses
Summary: Country artists (Jennifer Aniston, Maya Rudolph) compete for the same man in a compilation album.


Coco & Matsui Super Show
Summary: Japanese hosts Coco (Maya Rudolph) and Matsui (Fred Armisen) weep at Jennifer Aniston's presence.

Recurring Characters: Coco, Matsui.

Black Eyed Peas performs "Hey Mama"

Appalachian Emergency Room
Summary: Country bumpkins have a series of strange injuries treated.

Recurring Characters: Receptionist, Percy Bo Dance, Netti Bo Dance, Tyler.

Phone Sex
Summary: A nerdy operator (Jennifer Aniston) doesn't know how to talk dirty to her clients.



SNL Transcripts