Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 29: Episode 13


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


February 7th, 2004

Megan Mullally

Clay Aiken

Nick Offerman

Nightline
Summary: Ted Koppell (Darrell Hammond) bypasses important issues to talk about Janet Jackson's exposed breast at the Super Bowl.

Recurring Characters: Ted Koppel, Michael Jackson.

Transcript


Montage
Note: Don Pardo accidentally introduces Chris Parnell as Chris Kattan, then quickly corrects himself. Pardo also introduces Maya Rudolph as Maria.


Megan Mullally's Monologue
Summary: Despite being surrounded by an all-gay chorus, Megan Mullally tries to show she's about much more than her loyal gay following.

Bio: For her performance on "Will and Grace", Megan Mullally (1958-) has won an Emmy Award for Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series and three Screen Actors Guild Awards. She revealed herself as a bisexual in a 1999 interview.

Transcript


Celebrity Poker Showdown
Summary: Celebrities like Carrot Top (Seth Meyers) and Kevin Pollack (Jimmy Fallon) make poker excruciating to watch.

Recurring Characters: Carrot Top, Geraldo Rivera, Gene Shalit.

Note: This sketch was cut from the dress rehearsal of the Elijah Wood episode.

Transcript


Huggies Thong
Summary: Less padding, but not as effective as regular diapers.

Note: Repeat from 10/04/03.


Baby Boyfriend
Summary: A grown man (Seth Meyers) lives like a child again when he visits his mom's (Megan Mullally) house, much to the discomfort of his girlfriend (Amy Poehler).

Transcript


Golden Globe Awards
Summary: Megan Mullally makes faces from the audience as Sharon Stone (Amy Poehler) presents an award.


Oprah’s Favorite Things
Summary: The studio audience goes nuts when Oprah (Maya Rudolph) gives lavish gifts away.

Recurring Characters: Oprah Winfrey.

Transcript


The Cabdriver
Summary: A cabdriver (Megan Mullally) makes a big deal about welcoming black people into her cab.

Transcript


Clay Aiken performs "Invisible"
Bio: Clay Aiken (1978-) was the second runner-up on Fox's "American Idol", and the first of their contestants to appear on "Saturday Night Live."


Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina Fey
Summary: Indian comic Billy Smith (Fred Armisen) tells more lost-in-translation jokes. Ready for her exit from "20/20", Barbara Walters (Rachel Dratch) interviews herself.

Recurring Characters: Billy Smith, Barbara Walters.

Transcript


The Wizard Of Oz
Summary: Not only has Dorothy (Amy Poehler) killed the Bad Witch, but some innocent Munchkins as well.

Transcript


Zinger vs. Slam
Summary: Scientists Dave "Zing" Clinger (Seth Meyers) verbally spars with ex-girlfriend Debbie "Slam" Slamowski (Megan Mullally).

Transcript


Clay Aiken performs "The Way"


Musical Relatives
Summary: Leon Warwick (Kenan Thompson) and Connie Raitt (Megan Mullally) try to enter the Grammy Awards ceremony.

Transcript


Goodnights
Transcript



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