Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 29: Episode 12


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


February 14th, 2004

Drew Barrymore

Kelis

None

Gore's Endorsement
Summary: John Kerry (Seth Meyers) has no interest in Al Gore's (Darrell Hammond) support.

Recurring Characters: Al Gore, John Kerry.

Transcript


Montage


Drew Barrymore's Monologue
Summary: Drew Barrymore's former freak-show movie co-stars join her on-stage.

Also Hosted: 82g, 98p, 01c.

Transcript


A Very Special Valentine's Versace
Summary: Donatella Versace (Maya Rudolph) scuffles with Courtney Love (Drew Barrymore).

Recurring Characters: Donatella Versace, Elton John, Madonna, Courtney Love.

Transcript


Jarret's Room
Summary: Jarret (Jimmy Fallon) dreams about romance with Gobi's (Horatio Sanz) sister (Drew Barrymore).

Recurring Characters: Jarret, Gobi, DJ Jonathon Feinstein.

Transcript


Access Hollywood
Summary: Charlize Theron (Drew Barrymore) film clips display various Oscar-begging performances.

Recurring Characters: Pat O'Brien.

Transcript


Octane
Summary: The vehicular action-drama film preview displays fake special effects.


Kelis performs "Milkshake"
Bio: Singer/songwriter Kelis (1980-) finally found mainstream success with the release of her current album.


Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina Fey
Summary: Live from prison, Diana Ross (Maya Rudolph) can't seem to adjust.

Recurring Characters: Diana Ross.

Note: The final "I" was missing from the word "Availability" on the graphic during the morning after pill joke.

Transcript


Mike's Bar, 1968
Summary: John Kerry (Seth Meyers), George W. Bush (Will Forte), Bill Clinton (Darrell Hammond) and Hillary Rodham (Drew Barrymore) meet at a bar in the late 60's.

Recurring Characters: John Kerry, George W. Bush, Bill Clinton, Hillary Rodham.

Note: Will Forte is now the third post-Ferrell cast member to portray President George W. Bush; the second this season alone.

Transcript


Larry King Live
Summary: Larry King (Jimmy Fallon) interviews Anna Nicole Smith (Drew Barrymore) following her extreme weight loss.

Recurring Characters: Larry King, Anna Nicole Smith.


Spy Glass
Summary: More celebrity gossip with Ian Gerrard (Seth Meyers) and Zoe Anderton (Amy Poehler).

Recurring Characters: Ian Gerrard, Zoe Anderton, Pat O'Brien.


The World of Scott Wainio
Summary: Scott Wainio takes to the streets to interview people with no microphone.


The White Stripes
Summary: Jack (Jimmy Fallon) and Meg White (Drew Barrymore) sing their theme song, but ultimately don't save the day.

Transcript


Prince Show
Summary: Prince (Fred Armisen) displays his eccentricities while hosting talk show with Beyonce (Maya Rudolph).

Recurring Characters: Prince, Beyonce.

Transcript


Goodnights
Transcript



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