Air Date: Host: Musical Guest: Special Guests:

March 6th, 2004 Colin Firth Norah Jones Ana Gasteyer

Nightline

Summary: Ted Koppel (Darrell Hammond) and his guests discuss Martha Stewart's (Ana Gasteyer) prison sentencing. Recurring Characters: Ted Koppel, Rosie O'Donnell, Martha Stewart. Note: During rehearsal, Amy Poehler played the role of Martha Stewart. Ana Gasteyer made the guest appearance for the live show as a personal favor to Lorne Michaels, as she was in town starring in the Broadway play "Roulette." Transcript

Montage

Colin Firth's Monologue

Summary: Cast members don fake Shakespearean accents in order to impress Colin Firth. Bio: English actor Colin Firth's (1960-) career took off after appearing in the 1995 BBC dramatisation of "Pride and Prejudice."

Bad Accents

Summary: An English actor (Colin Firth) can't seem to master a Southern accent for his movie scene.

ĄShow Biz Grande Explosion!

Summary: Ferecito (Fred Armisen) teaches Colin Firth how to tell a joke. Recurring Characters: Ferecito, Manuel Pantalones.

TV Funhouse

Summary: Classic cartoon characters are presented as they would appear if censored by the FCC.

Tim Calhoun On Trial

Summary: Politician Tim Calhoun (Will forte) stands trial on drug charges. Recurring Characters: Tim Calhoun.

Norah Jones performs "Sunrise"

Also Appeared: 02g.

Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina Fey

Summary: Maya Rudolph reports from the streets of New Hampshire, where middle-aged white women are rioting in the wake of Martha Stewart's prison sentence. Director Peter Jackson (Horatio Sanz) awards a stick of gum to his star, Elijah Wood (Rachel Dratch). Recurring Characters: Bill Clinton. Transcript

Hotel Wilson

Summary: A horny bellhop (Kenan Thompson) misinterprets the signals given by an English businessman (Colin Firth). Transcript

Meet The Press

Summary: Ass-kisser John Edwards (Will Forte) refuses to speak negatively of John Kerry. Recurring Characters: Tim Russert, John Edwards. Transcript

The Sopranos

Summary: "The Sopranos" has been on hiatus for so long that even the characters can't remember their storylines for the new season.

Norah Jones performs "What Am I To You?"

Jesus: Hollywood vs. History

Summary: To counter Mel Gibson's "Passion of the Christ", actor Liam Neeson (Colin Firth) presents some never-before-seen footage of Benny Hill (Will Forte) as Jesus. Recurring Characters: Liam Neeson. Transcript

Goodnights

Transcript

Jane Eyre

Summary: Classic literature comes to life as Jane Eyre (Rachel Dratch) watches helplessly as her employer, Mr. Rochester (Colin Firth), sneaks off to the attic for sex. Note: This sketch sees the light next season on the episode hosted by Jude Law.

Kaitlin

Summary: Hyper Kaitlin (Amy Poehler) annoys a musician (Colin Firth) nursing a hangover while he waits for her mom (Rachel Dratch). Recurring Characters: Kaitlin. Note: Kaitlin would begin her run as a recurring character later in the season. Her mom is never seen on a live episode, though Horatio Sanz assumes the role of recurring boyfriend, Rick.

17th Annual Adult Movie Awards

Summary: Due to the sensitive nature of the broadcast, the awards show is cut short. Note: This sketch is also cut from the dress rehearsal of the Ben Affleck episode, but would finally air in the episode hosted by Lindsay Lohan.