Air Date: Host: Musical Guest: Special Guests: Cameos:

March 19th, 2005 Ashton Kutcher Gwen Stefani None Demi Moore Eve

Hardball

Summary: Chris Matthews (Darrell Hammond) tackles the subject of steroid use in Major League Baseball. Recurring Characters: Chris Matthews, Mark McGwire, Zell Miller.

Ashton Kutcher's Monologue

Summary: Ashton Kutcher doesn't understand what's the big deal about him dating an older woman, so he pulls Demi Moore (in heavily-accented old lady make-up) up to the stage so they can speak glowingly of their strange relationship. First Hosted: 02r.

Me-Harmony

Summary: The proven online matchmaking service finds their clients' exact opposite sex match. Note: Repeat from 04l.

Oprah

Summary: Oprah (Maya Rudolph) pays more attention to actor John Travolta (Darrell Hammond) than to fire victim (Rachel Dratch). Recurring Characters: Oprah Winfrey, John Travolta, Julia Roberts. Transcript

Push-Ups

Summary: Two years later, a nerdy guy (Ashton Kutcher) still feels humiliated by an incident involving the water cooler at his office. Determined to save face, he's devised a scheme where he can demonstrate his strength by performing 45 push-ups. He struggles to convince his co-workers (Chris Parnell, Amy Poehler, Rachel Dratch, Horatio Sanz) that office push-up contests are the new fad in Denver, but they easily best him in the competition, making him feel more and more foolish.

Federline

Summary: Kevin Federline (Ashton Kutcher) has started his own underwear line behind his wife Britney Spears' back. Transcript

Gays in Space

Summary: Brought back for Episode 2, the gay space crew crash lands on a strange planet. Recurring Characters: Space Creature, Billiam, Gavindy, Thad.

Gwen Stefani with Eve performs "Rich Girl"

Eve First Performed: 00q. Lyrics

Weekend Update with Tina Fey & Amy Poehler

Summary: Tina and Amy do a horrible fake interview with Robert Blake footage. Consumer advocate Henry Payne (Kenan Thompson) puts the pain on a store clerk (Ashton Kutcher). Chris Parnell's Demi Moore rap evolves into a desire to have sex with Ashton Kutcher. Transcript

Southern Baptist Church

Summary: A white minister (Ashton Kutcher) receives an unwelcomed reception at a black Baptist church. Transcript

Action 13 News

Summary: Perky news anchor Busy Martinez (Amy Poehler) is gaga for her hunky new co-anchor, Darren Stark (Ashton Kutcher), which fuels resentment in jilted weatherman Barry Shirtsworth (Seth Meyers). Transcript

Gwen Stefani performs "Hollaback Girl"

Bio: Gwen Stefani (1969-). Singer; former lead singer of No Doubt. Also Performed: 06h. Cameos: 00q. Lyrics

Nebulzitol

Summary: Woman (Amy Poehler) uses product to keep her husband (Will Forte) focused on her instead of March Madness and other sports events. Transcript

Goodnights

Transcript