Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 30: Episode 17

04q: Tom Brady / Beck

Behind The Music: The Super Bowl Shuffle

Written by: Rich Talarico

Jim McMahon....Tom Brady
William "The Refrigerator" Perry....Kenan Thompson
Willie Gault....Finesse Mitchell
Mike Ditka....Horatio Sanz
Bear Teammate....Rob Riggle
Cowbell Bear Teammate....Jason Sudeikis
Announcer....Darrell Hammond
Steve Fuller (#4).....Joe Kelly
Off Camera Interviewer....Chris Parnell

[Opens with montage of photos. Mike Ditka being carried up in arms by his team, the Chicago Bears. Photos of football players in action]

Announcer: The 1985 Chicago Bears were one of the best teams in football history with an impressive 15-1 record. But off the field something else was brewing---their music.

[VH-1 Behind the Music Montage and Logo. The Super Bowl Shuffle]

[The whole Chicago Bears football team is dressed up in their football jerseys. Up front is Jim McMahon with his dark sunglasses and white bandanna,by his side is William "The Refrigerator" Perry and Willie Gault]

All: [rapping]We are the Bears shuffling crew/shuffle on down/doing it for you/We're so bad/You know we're good/Blow your mind/like we knew we could/We just here strutting for fun/strutting our stuff for everyone/we're not here to start no trouble/we're just here doing the Super Bowl Shuffle.

[Map of Chicago]

Announcer: The Super Bowl Shuffle was one of the most popular songs ever recorded by a professional sports team in the Chicago area. The shuffling crew had skyrocketed to the top of the charts. [Billboard Chart shows The Super Bowl Shuffle at number one, beating out Lionel Richie's "Say you, say me", Bruce Springsteen's "Glory Days", Paul Young's "Every time you go away"]. Overnight the Chicago Bears went from being famous to being famous for a completely different reason. Bears Quarterback Jim McMahon.

Caption: Jim McMahon Quarterback/Vocals

[Cut to Jim talking in a recording studio, sunglasses, bandanna, number 9 jersey]

Jim McMahon: See, you got to remember, this was 1985. And nobody -- and I mean nobody -- was doing rap back then.

Off Camera Interviewer: What about the Sugar Hill gang? Grandmaster Flash? Run DMC?

Jim McMahon: Hey, hey, hey. Stop correcting me every time I say something wrong. Cause if you do that we're gonna be here forever.

Announcer: Defensive tackle, William "The Refrigerator" Perry.

Caption: Defensive tackle/Vocals William "The Refrigerator" Perry.

[Perry is in his Subway restaurant uniform, behind the counter making a sandwich]

William "The Refrigerator" Perry: Man, when we wrote "Shuffle" the planets aligned.[to an off camera customer]White or wheat, boss? Ok. The music flowed from us like a fountain. [to his off camera customer]Onions? Pickles? Ok. We surrendered our individuality and became one with the music. I mean, we were gods.[to his off camera customer]Chips and a drink? Make that a meal? Ok.

Announcer: Wide receiver, Willie Gault.[He's chillin' in a sofa]

Caption: Wide Receiver/Vocals Willie Gault

Willie Gault: Well, you know, we weren't your typical band. I mean, come on, we had one guitar, one saxophone, a cowbell, a conga drum and 27 vocalists. 12 of them couldn't sing and 5 out of the 12 couldn't even read. But somehow we made it all work.

Announcer: Coach Mike Ditka.

Caption: Mike Ditka Bears Coach 1982-1992

[He's in a Sports Bar, beer in front of him]

Mike Ditka: 1985. Well, that's going back a long way. The Chicago Bears played great football. Let me tell ya', they made some great music, that was 20 years ago. Now, I got a little older, certain parts don't work you know, like they used to. So, you got to take some pills to make them work. That's why I use Levitra.[holds up a little packet] Levitra, the only male erectile disfunction that I use---

Off Camera Interviewer: I'm sorry, Coach. This isn't a Levitra ad.

Mike Ditka: [surprised] Why do I have a boner?

[Shot of an empty football field]

Announcer: The Bears blew off training camp to get back to the studio.[Shot of Jim and Willie writing in the recording studio, Perry is opening a Coke.] The pressure to write a follow-up single was overwhelming and a few months later The Shuffling Crew released "The Stay in School Shuffle".

[Shot of Jim, Perry and Willie with headphones singing into microphones in the recording studio]

[Shot of a tape. The Shuffling Crew. "The Stay in School Shuffle"]

[All the team wears graduation hats, guy with cowbell and glasses is more prominent now]

All: [rapping]We are the Bears/ shuffling through/ shuffling down/doing it for you/ we're so bad/ you know we're good/ blow your mind like we knew we could/you know we're just here strutting our stuff/ strutting our stuff for everyone/we're not here to start no trouble/ we're just here doing The Stay in School Shuffle.

[Billboard Chart shows "The Stay in School Shuffle" low numbers. It is between Taco's "Puttin on the Ritz's(part 2)" and Eddie Murphy's "Party All The Time"]

Announcer: Although a critical success "The Stay in School Shuffle" was a commercial disappointment and never reached higher than 288 on the Billboard Charts. The night life and parties of the rock stars Bears[Jim, Perry and Willie drink champagne in a disco]was in direct competition with the disciplined athlete Bears.[Jim, Perry, Willie and others party with Pee-Wee Herman and have their picture taken with Punky Brewster]On and off the field things were falling apart. Then, they hit rock bottom.[ Jim, Perry and Co. have their picture taken with Corey Feldman and Mr.T]

[Cut to Jim]

Jim McMahon: It was a Sunday, November 27th. We had a big game against The Vikings. We were down 42 to 3 and we went out to perform "The Stay in School Shuffle" as part of our own half-time show. People were throwing brats at us and for a Chicago dude to give up the sausage? You know its bad.[cries]I'm sorry. I need a minute.

Announcer: But then amazingly, to everyone's surprise Jim McMahon had broken through rock bottom to an even lower rock bottom, a subterranean trench, a personal and professional abyss[Jim takes off his sunglasses only to reveal another pair of sunglasses underneath]when he put out his own solo song "The Say No To Drugs Shuffle".

[Tape of The Chicago Bears Shuffling Crew. "The Say No to Drugs Shuffle".]

[Jim is all alone with the cowbell guy. Cowbell guy dances with great enthusiasm]

Jim McMahon:[rapping]I am the Bears Shuffling Guy/ shuffling down/ don't ask me why/ I'm so bad/you know I'm good/ Blowin' your mind like you know I would/ you know I'm just strutting for fun/ strutting my stuff for everyone/ I'm not here to cause no trouble/ I'm just here to do "The Say No To Drugs Shuffle"!

[Jim and the cowbell guy are back to back, cowbell guy points his stick to the camera]

[Photos of Jim, Perry and Willie]

Announcer: Jim McMahon and the rest of The Shuffling Crew left music after their brief 2 year career. The Bears would never return to The Super Bowl nor the Grammy's but we'll always have the videotapes of The Super Bowl Shuffle.

[VH-1 Behind The Music logo. The Super Bowl Shuffle]

[cheers and applause]

[scene fades]

Submitted by: Waldo San Miguel

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