Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 31: Episode 9




Chronic Snack Attack
Chronic Snack Attack Magnet
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05i: Jack Black / Neil Young

An SNL Digital Short

.....Andy Samberg
.....Chris Parnell

Andy Samberg:
"Lazy Sunday, wake up in the late afternoon,
Call up Parnell just to see how he’s doin’."

Chris Parnell: Hello?

Andy Samberg: What up Parnz?

Chris Parnell: Yo Samberg, what’s crackin’?

Andy Samberg: You thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’?

Both: NARNIA!

Andy Samberg: Then it’s happ’nin’.

Chris Parnell: But first my hunger pangs are stickin’ like duct tape!

Andy Samberg: Then let’s hit up Magnolia, and mack on some cupcakes!

Chris Parnell: No doubt that bakery’s got all the BOMB frosting.

Andy Samberg: I love those cupcakes like McAdams loves Gosling!

Chris Parnell: Two!

Andy Samberg: No, six!

Chris Parnell: No, twelve!

Both: Baker’s Dozen!

Andy Samberg: Yo, I told you that I’m crazy for these cupcakes, cousin!

Chris Parnell: Yo, where’s the movie, playa?

Andy Samberg: On the west side, dude!

Chris Parnell: Well, let’s hit up Yahoo! Maps to find the dopest route.

Andy Samberg: I prefer MapQuest!

Chris Parnell: That’s a good one, too!

Andy Samberg: Google Maps is the best!

Chris Parnell: True dat!

Both: Double True!

Andy Samberg: 68th and Broadway!

Chris Parnell: Step on it, sucka!

Andy Samberg: What you wanna do, Chris?

Chris Parnell: Snack attack, muthaf-----!

Both: The Chronic-
What?
-Cles of Narnia!

Yes the Chronic-
What?
-Cles of Narnia!

We love the Chronic-
What?
-Cles of Narnia!

Pass the Chronic-
What?
-Cles of Narnia!

Andy Samberg: Yo stop at the deli, the theatre’s overpriced!

Chris Parnell: You got the backpack?

Andy Samberg: Gotta pack it up nice!

Chris Parnell: Don’t want security to get suspicious!

Andy Samberg: Mr. Pibb plus Red Vines equals crazy delicious.

Chris Parnell: Reach in my pocket, pull out some dough.

Andy Samberg: Girl actin’ like she never seen a ten befo’.

Chris Parnell: It’s all about the Hamiltons, baby!

Andy Samberg: Got the snacks in the bag!

Chris Parnell: And I’m ghost like Swayze! (Pause) Roll up in the theatre,

Andy Samberg: Ticket buyin’s what we handle?

Chris Parnell: You can call us Aaron Burrs

Andy Samberg: From the way we’re droppin’ Hamiltons.

Chris Parnell: Bust up in our seats, Movie Trivia’s the illest!

Andy Samberg: “What Friends alum starred in films with Bruce Willis?”

Chris Parnell: We answered so fast it was scary!

Andy Samberg: Everyone stared in awe when we screamed:

Both: MATTHEW PERRY!

Andy Samberg: Now, quiet in the theatre or it's gonna get tragic.

Chris Parnell: We’re ‘bout to get tickets to a dream-world of magic.

Both: The Chronic-
What?
-Cles of Narnia!

Yes the Chronic-
What?
-Cles of Narnia!

We love the Chronic-
What?
-Cles of Narnia!

Pass the Chronic-
What?
-Cles of Narnia!


Submitted by: Ryan


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