Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 31: Episode 11





05k: Peter Sarsgaard / The Strokes

An SNL Digital Short

Doug Brogar.....Jason Sudeikis
Young Chuck Norris.....Andy Samberg
Extras.....Bill Hader, Fred Armisen, Jorma Taccone, Amy Poehler

[ tag (over black screen): "An SNL Digital Short" ]

[ dissolve to music video performed by Doug Brogar - close-up of Doug's face on left side of the screen, with a long shot of him on stage on the right. Credits appear: "Doug Brogar - "#4: Young Chuck Norris" - Kung Fu Heros 1-12 - Dir. Doug Brogar" ]

Doug Brogar: [ spoken ]
"Legend has it he walks among us even now
A dreamer alone in a world between dreams and reality
Was he always a fighter?
Was he always a hero?
What do we make of the young Chuck Norris?"

[ the words bounce on the screen, as image of the young Chuck Norris appears next to Doug ]

Doug Brogar: [ singing ]
"Norris used his hands and his feet
And he kicked and he punched with his hands and his feet
And he kicked and he punched with Mr. Bruce Lee
A master of kara-ta-ta-tee
And he kicked and he flipped some more
Back to Vietnam to settle the score
Don't forget "Walker, Texas Ranger"
When he kicked and he punched his way from danger.

[ slower ]
But hey let's turn back time to younger days (younger days)
Before all of the fame and mind games (mind games)
His deeds were no less great then
A man among other men
The legend of young Chuck Norris, yeah!

[ a mugger steals a woman's purse, so Chuck jumps in and punches the mugger and the woman ]

[ up-tempo ]
Young Norris used his hands and his feet
And he kicked and he punched with his hands and his feet
He also ran and he jumped in the air
He was younger so he didn't even care
Way before his Hollywood fame
He slapped and punched and he saw the famed name
He was known as Master Chuck
His last name was Norris and his first name was Chuck.

Round house kick (Chuck Norris)
Death hold grip (Chuck Norris)
Mustache lip (Chuck Norris)
Tender kiss (Chuck Norris)

[ slower ]
Fathers, let your daughters know
Dreams may come and dreams may go
But a man like Norris never dies
He lives forever in the children's eyes.

[ up-tempo ]
Young Chuck Norris, this is my tribute to thee (to thee)
Live on great warrior into eternity (eternity)
Yeah, yeah!"

[ as the video finishes, Doug and young Chuck Norris hold their hands high in the air together, as Norris fades from existence. Doug looks over, as his American flag handkerchief falls to the stage ]


Submitted by: Daniel Solzman


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