05l: Steve Martin / Prince
Super Bowl XL Rehearsals
Aaron Neville....Horatio Sanz
Aretha Franklin....Kenan Thompson
Male Coordinator....Seth Meyers
Female Coordinator....Amy Poehler
(Opens with USA Today headline: Super Bowl XL Detroit.
February 5, 2006. Next is a headline from the Detroit
Free Press:Aaron Neville, Aretha Franklin and Dr. John
sing national anthem. Shot of Ford Field Stadium.
Banner: Super XL Bowl.)
Caption: Detroit. Saturday, Feb. 4th
(Cut to inside of the arena.Two security guys in
yellow jackets stand-by. A male and female coordinator
team appears with black jackets of Super Bowl XL and
Female Coordinator: OK, Aaron, Mr. Neville we don't
have a lot of time for these rehearsals. This is your
mark for the national anthem right here.(Points at the
base of the microphone. Aaron Neville enters with his
sleeveless jean jacket) I'm going to need you right
Aaron Neville: (Sings) I don't know much, about this
Super Bowl, but I do know that I'd like a bowl of
Male Coordinator: Wow! That was great. You really
sound great, Mr. Neville.
Aaron Neville: No, seriously. I need some food. I'm
hypoglycemic. If my blood sugar is too low, I fall on
my ass and smash my booty bone.
(Big tittied Aretha shows up)
Aretha Franklin: Is somebody talking about getting
some food?! Cause if they give him some food, they
better give me some food. Shoot!
Female Coordinator: OK, Aretha, we're not quite ready
for you yet.
Aretha Franklin: Well then you best gets ready, sista!
And (sings)you better think!....think about getting me
Male Coordinator: OK, Aretha what kind of food can we get you?
Aretha Franklin: Well....
(Scraggly looking,gray haired, bearded, with a leather
black beret, Dr John walks in)
Dr. John: (sings) I love that chicken from Popeye's!
Male Coordinator: Sorry, what?
Dr. John: Yeah, looky here, my name is Dr. John. How
you doin'. AKA Mr. Mac Rebennack. That's my
suggestion. The Popeye's is. I'm paid to sing the
Popeye's jingle but I also think it's pretty damn good grub.
Aretha Franklin: Popeye's suits me just fine,
Male Coordinator: OK, I'm on it.(leaves)
Female Coordinator: Yeah, you guys, we need you to
keep this moving, OK? We got the Rolling Stones in
here. We don't have a lot of time.
Dr. John: All right, well you just holler when you need
me, OK? I'm gonna pass out underneath that tarp over
Aaron Neville: Ooh-Wee! This stadium air is dry. I
need to moisturize my face, neck and chiseled biceps.
Female Coordinator: I'm sure we can track down some
lotion for you, Aaron.
Aaron Neville: I don't use lotion. I use
butter.(sings)Fine, fine cocoa buttha-a-a-a. Creole
King cocoa butter, makes my skin feel smo-o-o-o-oth!
Female Coordinator: OK, we're not doing a commercial
Aaron Neville: Oh, that's too bad. Because cocoa
butter keeps my skin supple while accentuating the
contrast of my tattoos.(Aretha appears)
Aretha Franklin: Tattoo? Back in the 70's I went out
on a date with Tattoo. Herve Villechaize. That's
right! I picked him up and threw him through a
basketball hoop. That little bastard got so mad he
almost tried to stab me! Now, that's what I call foreplay!
(Horatio looks at Kenan, Kenan stifles a laugh)
Female Coordinator: Wow, that's an inspirational story
Aretha but we really need to get through the anthem
one time. At least once.
Aaron Neville: Excuse me. I have a question. Is it
possible for me to get a stand or a little stool
perhaps so I can set my cocoa butter on.
Female Coordinator:(on her earpiece)OK, can we get
Mr.Neville a stool, please?
Aretha Franklin: Oh yeah, I want a stool too baby! A
real high one that I can rest my titties on!(Girl
brings in 2 stools, waist level)No,no,no. This is not
high enough, sugar! This ain't high enough! I'm gonna
have to take my brassier off to use this!
Female Coordinator: OK, look everyone, let's get
together and let's run this thing! Dr John, please!
(Dr.John appears with stuffed, giant rabbit holding a
football while Aaron applies fine cocoa butter on his
Dr. John: Oh,oh,oh hey!,looky here what I just won and/or stole!
Female Coordinator: Aaron, why don't you start it off?
Let's do it!
Aaron Neville: OK, I'll start it off.(Into the mic,
Star Spangled Banner)Oh, say can you
see-hee-hee-heee-hoo--huu-hiii!By the dawns early
crack up)hee.(Smears more cocoa butter)What's so
proudly we hailed....
(Male coordinator arrives with 3 boxes of Popeye's chicken)
Dr. John: Hey! the food guy's back! Let's get the hell
Aretha Franklin: Come on, Neville! Come on!
(Aretha grabs the 3 boxes of Popeye's chicken, Aaron
takes a piece of chicken)
Dr. John:(sings)I do love that chicken from Popeye's!!
(Aretha, Aaron and Dr.John haul ass)
Female Coordinator: Guys!,please! OK, well I think
that went really well.
Male Coordinator: Yes, that was the smoothest run
through yet, those guys are pros.
Female Coordinator: Yeah.
(The two coordinators study the clipboard)
(Cheers and applause)
Submitted by: Waldo San Miguel