Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 32: Episode 3


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:


October 21st, 2006

John C. Reilly

My Chemical Romance

None

Will Ferrell

Special Report with Brit Hume
Summary: Brit Hume presents Part One of his interview with President George W. Bush (Will Forte), in which Bush agrees with each of his statements.

Recurring Characters: Brit Hume, President George W. Bush.

Transcript


Montage


John C. Reilly's Monologue
Summary: James Lipton (Will Ferrell) praises John C. Reilly for his film performances.

Recurring Characters: James Lipton.

Bio: John C. Reilly (1965-). Character actor; co-starred with Will Ferrell in "Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby" (2006), later headlined "Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story" (2007).

Transcript


Colonial Williamsburg
Summary: The manager (Jason Sudeikis) at Colonial Williamsburg has to fire Gary (John C. Reilly) for acting racist toward his co-workers in the name of historical accuracy.

Transcript


Swimming Lesson
Summary: Swimming teacher Doug Frangelo (John C. Reilly) makes sure his student (Will Forte) gains enough experience swimming on land before stepping into the water.

Transcript


Korean Central Television
Summary: Kim Jong Il (Amy Poehler) addresses the nation of North Korea.

Recurring Characters: Kim Jong Il.

Transcript


Two A-Holes Work Out with a Trainer
Summary: The Two A-Holes (Jason Sudeikis, Kristin Wiig) show up late for their exercise workout, completely wasting their trainer's (John C. Reilly) time.

Recurring Characters: Male A-Hole, Female A-Hole.

Transcript


My Chemical Romance performs "Welcome to the Black Parade"
Bio: Punk-pop band; formed in 2001 by lead singer Gerard Way and drummer Matt Pelissier; adopted their name from author Irvine Welsh's novel "Three Tales Of Chemical Romance"; other members are guitarist Frank Iero, bassist Mikey Way, guitarist Ray Toro, and drummer Bob Bryar (who replaced Pelissier in 2004).

Lyrics


Weekend Update with Amy Poehler & Seth Meyers
Summary: Flavor Flav (Kenan Thompson) makes up nicknames female congressional members.

Recurring Characters: Flavor Flav.

Note: In dress rehearsal, Andy Samberg and Fred Armisen appeared respectively as YouTube founders Chad Hurley and Steve Chen.

Transcript


Mexican Restaurant
Summary: Due to a breakup with her boyfriend, Jennifer (John C. Reilly) becomes emotionally unstable during lunch with her girlfriends (Maya Rudolph, Amy Poehler, Kristin Wiig).

Transcript


House of Carters
Summary: Sibling rivalry between Nick Carter (Jason Sudeikis) and younger brother Aaron (Andy Samberg).

Recurring Characters: Aaron Carter.


An SNL Digital Short
Summary: Harpoon Man (John C. Reilly) tracks down the announcer (Andy Samberg) who's making negative comments about him during his theme song.

Transcript


McMillan Family Moment I
Summary: McMillan dad (John C. Reilly) tries to pass along the family tradition for eating an Oreo cookie to his ungrateful son (Andy Samberg).

Transcript


Operation Bearshark
Summary: Scientists break out into song after the funding for Operation Bearshark is cut off.


McMillan Family Moment II
Summary: McMillan dad (John C. Reilly) once again tries to pass along the family tradition for eating an Oreo cookie to a black boy (Kenan Thompson).

Transcript


My Chemical Romance performs "Cancer"
Lyrics


McMillan Family Moment III
Summary: McMillan dad (John C. Reilly) lashes out at his own father (Jason Sudeikis) after learning he got the family tradition for eating an Oreo cookie all wrong.

Transcript


Goodnights
Transcript






Dress Rehearsal Cuts

Support Group
Summary: Newsmakers Madonna (Amy Poehler), Paris Hilton (Maya Rudolph), Donald Rumsfeld (Darrell Hammond), John Mark Karr (Bill Hader), and a stingray (Andy Samberg) are united in notoreity at a support group meeting.

Recurring Characters: Madonna, Paris Hilton, Donald Rumsfeld.

Note: This sketch served as the cold opening at dress rehearsal.


E-Z Date.com
Summary: Entrepreneuer Cal Brandeis (Jason Sudeikis) acts as virtual pimp for a new dating service that will discreetly deliver a "date" to your door within minutes of registering online.


Coach
Summary: A football coach (John C. Reilly) visits one of his star players (Andy Samberg) in the hospital.


Sale-mart
Summary: To maintain its everyday low prices, the discount merchandising outlet proudly cuts corners on employee benefits.


New Hat
Summary: Spokesman (John C. Reilly) promotes a hot dog wrapper hat.



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