Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 32: Episode 4







06d: Hugh Laurie / Beck

2006 World Series

Joe Buck....Jason Sudeikis
Tim McCarver....Bill Hader
Pamela Bell....Maya Rudolph

[Opens with sports theme music. World Fox Series 2006 logo. An outside shot of a sports stadium]

Joe Buck: Its game five of the World Series here at the new Busch Stadium here in downtown St. Louis and it looks like its just about time to sing the National Anthem.

[Tim And Joe are sitting in their commentators desk. Suit and ties, glasses]

Tim McCarver: That's right, Joe. And singing tonight is Pamela Bell. Winner of local grocery store Schnucks "Anthem Idol" contest.

Joe Buck: I hear the girl can sing.

Tim McCarver: Well, lets go to the field.

[Cut to Pamela Bell out on the playing field. She has a microphone in her hand. She waves and smiles at the crowd. Crowd applauds.]

Pamela Bell: Oh...Say...Eh...ooh...Eeeeee!!! By the dawn....early li-i-i-i-ight![pause] Da-What...so pro-o-udly, we hai-i-i-ai-ai-ai-iled!![nasal voice]By the twilight's....[normal voice] last gleaming!

[Tim and Joe are surprised by the horrific rendition of the National Anthem]

Pamela Bell: Da-whose broad stripes and right "ra-a-a-a-ars"![vocalizing] na, nia, nia, nia, nia, nia![forcefully] O'er the "ramrods"... we watched! Na, nia, nia, nia ,nia ,nia. [speaking] and the rockets red glare,[imitates watching bombs in the air] and the bombs bursting up in the air! [rapidly] Gave a little proof! [forcefully]through the ba-night!! [nasal voice]that our flag as still the-e-e-e-ere!

[Tim and Joe are stunned]

Pamela Bell: For its one, two, "knee" strikes you're ou-u-u-ut! And the ho-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-me!!! [long pause] A-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a--a-a-a-a-a-ave!

[More shocking looks from Tim and Joe back in the studio]

Pamela Bell: The Bra-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a[She moves the microphone around her mouth, vocal sounds fade in and out]a-a-a-ave! B to the "R" to the "A" to the "V" to the "E" Bah-bah-bah-bah-bah-bah-bah [makes like she's starting a motorcycle] Brr-brr-brr-brr-brr-brr-brr-brr-br-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r! Bra-a-a-a-a-a-ave! Uh!! Thank you! Thank you![waves to the crowd]

Joe Buck: We'll be right back with game five here in St. Louis.

[Sports theme music. World Fox Series logo]

[fade]

[Cheers and applause]


Submitted by: Waldo San Miguel


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