Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 32: Episode 6


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:


November 18th, 2006

Ludacris

Ludacris

None

Mary J. Blige

An NBC Special Report
Summary: "Saturday Night Live" will be delayed tonight, so that NBC can present a special message from President George W. Bush (Jason Sudeikis), who announces to America that he accidentally started up another war during his visit to Vietnam this past week.

Recurring Characters: President George W. Bush.

Transcript


Montage
Note: Don Pardo creates his own unique pronunciation for Ludacris' name.


Ludacris' Monologue
Summary: Ludacris differentiates the times he identifies himself as Ludacris versus using his real name, until he's interrupted by childhood friend Rick "Rickdiculous" Barnes (Kenan Thompson).

First Performed: 04j.

Transcript


Young Douglas: Hypin' the Classics
Summary: Rapper Young Douglas (Ludacris) provides backing tracks on classic hits by Harry Connick, Jr. (Jason Sudeikis) and other contemporary artists.

Recurring Characters: Harry Connick, Jr., Barbra Streisand, Dolly Parton, Louis Armstrong.

Transcript


Dr. Archibald Bitchslap
Summary: Samantha Hawkins (Maya Rudolph) and Dr. Archibald Bitchslap (Ludacris) show troubled couples how to save their marriage.

Transcript


The O'Reilly Factor
Summary: Bill O'Reilly (Darrell Hammond) plans to boycott Def Jam Records for signing Ludacris to their label.

Recurring Characters: Bill O'Reilly.


Booty Bidness
Summary: Ludacris promotes a new line of club clothing that businesswomen can wear at the office.

Transcript


The Blizzard Man
Summary: In order to boost a track on his album, Ludacris hires white-boy rapper Blizzard Man (Andy Samberg) to work his magic at the recording studio.

Transcript


Ludacris performs "Shake Your Moneymaker"
Lyrics


Weekend Update with Amy Poehler & Seth Meyers
Summary: John Mark Karr (Bill Hader) takes offense to O.J. Simpson's book because he's the real killer. Bobby Knight (Jason Sudeikis) yells at Seth Meyers for making an obvious Spider-Man joke. Teen magazine editor Anoosa Rosenfeld (Maya Rudolph) applauds anorexia and eats her lip gloss.

Recurring Characters: John Mark Karr, Bobby Knight.

Note: Maya Rudolph's "Anoosa Rosenfeld" character is based on Seventeen Magazine's editor-in-chief, Atoosa Rubenstein.

Transcript


Poolwatch
Summary: Pimped-out lifeguard (Ludacris) must carefully remove his bling and expensive designer clothing before he feels comfortable diving in the pool to rescue a woman from drowning.


Hair Transplant
Summary: Shady hair transplant practictioner, Dr. Schultz (Ludacris), tries to make a quick exit from his medical trailer after releasing a patient (Will Forte) who has the Elton John-style hair that he envies.


Lesbian Cruise Ship
Summary: Captain Ronald Huggins (Ludacris) is sure that steering a ship filled with vacationing lesbians will play out the same way it does in his porn video collection.

Transcript


Ludacris with Mary J. Blige performs "Runaway"
Mary J. Blige First Performed: 92o.

Lyrics


Old Friends
Summary: Two old friends (Ludacris, Darrell Hammond) sit at the lunch counter and complain about how hectic today's modern conveniences make their lives.

Note: Darrell Hammond's fake moustache comes loose, prompting an ad-lib from Ludacris.

Transcript


Goodnights
Transcript






Dress Rehearsal Cuts

Turkeys
Summary: A group of turkeys (Ludacris, Andy Samberg, Fred Armisen, Maya Rudolph, Jason Sudeikis) outrun bullets before Thanksgiving.


An SNL Digital Short
Summary: Andy Samberg stars in a series of movie trailers.


Hip Hop Hoodunit


Country Thanksgiving
Summary: A new CD of country holiday hits.



SNL Transcripts