Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 32: Episode 7





06g: Matthew Fox / Tenacious D

Tenacious D performs “Kickapoo”

.....Matthew Fox
.....Jack Black
.....Kyle Gass

Matthew Fox: Ladies and gentlemen, Tenacious D!

(cheers and applause)

(Pan to music stage, as Jack Black sings and Kyle Gass plays guitar; this is mostly a lyrical performance by Jack Black, though he is sometimes seen playing guitar. Gass is mostly lead guitar in this song)

Jack Black (Narrator):
A long ass time ago,
In a town called Kickapoo,
There lived a humble family
Religious through and through.
But yay there was a black sheep
And he knew just what to do.
His name was young J.B. and he refused to step in line.
A vision he did see-eth
Rockin' all the time.
He wrote a tasty jam and all the planets did align

Jack Black (Son):
Oh the dragon's balls were blazin' as I stepped into his cave,
Then I sliced his freakin' cockles, with a long and shiny blade!
'Twas I who freaked the dragon,
freakalize sing-freakaloo!)
And if you try to freak with me,
Then I shall freak you too!
Gotta get it on in the party zone!
Gotta lose control in the party zone!
Gotta lock and load in the party zone!
Gotta lick a toad in the party zone!
Oh, sh--

Kyle Gass (Father):
You've disobeyed my orders, son,
My way you never born
Your brother's ten times better than you,
Jesus loves him more.
This music that you play for us comes from the depths of hell.
Rock and roll's The Devil's work, he wants you to rebel.
You'll become a mindless puppet;
Beelzebub will pull the strings!
Your heart will lose direction,
And chaos it will bring.
You'd better shut your mouth,
You'd better watch your tone!
You're going for a week with no telephone!
Don't let me here you cry,
Don't let me hear you moan!
You gotta praise The Lord when you're in my home!

Jack Black (Son):
Dio can you hear me?
I am lost and so alone.
I'm askin' for your guidance.
Won't you come down from your throne?
I need a tight compadre who will teach me how to rock.
My father thinks you're evil,
But man, he can suck a rock
Rock is not The Devil's work,
It's magical and rad.
I'll never rock as long as I am stuck here with my dad

Jack Black (Dio poster):
I hear you brave young Jaybles,
You are hungry for the rock.
But to learn the ancient method,
Sacred doors you must unlock.
Escape your father's clutches,
And this oppressive neighborhood.
On a journey, you must go,
To find the land of Hollywood!
In The City of Fallen Angels,
Where the ocean meets the sand,
You will form a strong alliance,
And the world's most awesome band.
To find your fame and fortune,
Through the valley you must walk.
You will face your inner demons.
Now go, my son, and rock!

Jack Black (Narrator):
So he went from Kickapoo With hunger in his heart;
And he journeyed far and wide to find the secrets of his art;
But in the end he knew that he would find his counterpart.
Rooooock. Rah-ha-ha-ha-hock. Raye-yayayayaye-yock!"


Submitted by: Dirk Noel


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