Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 32: Episode 11

06k: Jeremy Piven / AFI


Man.....Jason Sudeikis
Wife.....Kristen Wiig
Announcer.....Darrell Hammond

[ open on Man giving his dog a bath in a washtub in his garage, the hose operating with only a slight trickle ]

Man: Look familiar? It used to -- until I asked my doctor about Urigro.

Announcer: Urigro is a drug approved for the treatment of Weak Male Urination Syndrome, or: WeMUS.

Man: I'll admit it - I used to pee sitting down because I was embarrassed about my chronic weak stream. After taking Urigro for just one week, I can see results like a thicker stream, less spray, more froth, and louder, deeper-sounding urination!

I went from this -- [ holds up the slow trickle of his hose ] to this -- [ the hose springs to life, creating a powerful spray that riccochets off the dog's mange ] in just a couple of weeks!

[ cut to Man entering the kitchen, where his Wife is preparing dinner ]

Man: Urigro gives you the sort of thick, ropy jets of urine you can be proud of.

[ Man grabs for a piece of food from a bowl, but his Wife slaps his hand ]

Wife: Dinner's almost ready.

Man: [ to the camera ] Well, I'm gonna hit the head. [ nods to the camera to follow him ]

[ cut to Man standing in front of bathroom mirror; we presume there is a toilet below this mirror ]

Man: When I started using Urigro, my stream was thin and unpredictable. [ slow trickle sound effect from below camera view ] But, now -- [ powerful jet stream sound effect is heard from below camera view ] it's powerful and consistent, from beginning to end! [ stops urinating ] Couldn't hear me, could you? That's Urigro working!

[ wider angle -- the mirror is indeed in front of a toilet ]

Man: Now my urinations are frothy and heady, like an ice-cold blast of beer! No,w listen to this:

[ cut to rear angle, as Man pokes his head from around the corner as his urine hits the bowl with powerful individual blasts. The Man demonstrates further by holding both hands up as he continues to urinate, then quickly lowers them as he reaches the bottom of his bladder. ]

[ cut back to the close-up angle of the Man standing in front of the mirror ]

Man: I can stop it and start it on a dime now!

Announcer: Ask your doctor about Urigro today, and get the thick, unbroken, golden braids of urine you always dreamed about.

Man: Oops! Filled 'er up! This one's a two-flusher! [ flushes the toilet ]

Announcer: Urigro. Make 'em proud, pee out loud/

[ fade ]

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