Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 32: Episode 17


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:


April 14th, 2007

Shia LeBeouf

Avril Lavigne

None

Phil Hyms

Wally Feresten

Lorne Michaels

Alec Baldwin

Wings Of Hope
Summary: Jesse Jackson (Darrell Hammond) and Al Sharpton (Kenan Thompson) speak out on Don Imus' "nappy-headed hoes" slur.

Recurring Characters: Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton.


Montage


Shia LeBeouf's Monologue
Summary: Near-unknown Shia LeBeouf is ecstatic about hosting "Saturday Night Live", but the glum cast members don't share "The Kid"'s enthusiasm.

Bio: Shia LeBeouf (1986-). Actor; starred on Disney Channel's "EVen Stevens", 2000-03; films include "Holes" (2003) and "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" (2008).

Also Hosted: 07k.


The Hathaway Moustache Ride Company
Summary: The elegant history of moustache rides is traced back to the vision of their founder, Leonidas Hathaway (Alec Baldwin).


Prince Show
Summary: More eccentric behavior from Prince (Fred Armisen), as Tobey Maguire (Shia LeBeouf) is asked to sit on a giant cupcake and Nancy Grace (Amy Poehler) drawls on.

Recurring Characters: Prince, Beyonce Knowles, Tobey Maguire, Nancy Grace.


Under 21
Summary: A group of underaged college students (Andy Samberg, Shia LeBeouf, Bill Hader, Will Forte) make clumsy ploys to buy cases of beer from a convenience store clerk (Kenan Thompson).

Transcript


The Dakota Fanning Show
Summary: Brainy Dakota Fanning (Amy Poehler) mocks fellow child star guests Cole (Shia LeBeouf) and Dylan Sprouse (Andy Samberg), and her little sister, Elle Fanning (Avril Lavigne).

Recurring Characters: Dakota Fanning, Reggie Hudson, Catherine.


An SNL Digital Short
Summary: In a spoof of a cliffhanger from "The O.C.", "The Shooting" features multiple shootouts as Keith (Bill Hader) pens a letter to his sister (Kristen Wiig).

Transcript


Sofa King
Summary: Entrepreneuer Katir Mutar's (Fred Armisen) sofas aren't just great - they're Sofa King great!


Avril Lavigne performs "Girlfriend"
Also Performed: 02i, 03s.


Weekend Update with Amy Poehler & Seth Meyers
Summary: Maya Rudolph interviews Howard K. Stern (Andy Samberg). Two gay guys from Connecticut (Fred Armisen, Bill Hader). Don Imus (Darrell Hammond) further incriminates himself.


Knife Salesmen
Summary: Salesmen Blade P. Cutsworth (Will Forte) and Bernard Throttlehunt (Shia LeBeouf) goes to extremes to sell their knives to a housewife (Kristen Wiig), even if it means slicing off their own fingers.

Transcript


An Intimate Moment with John Mayer & Jessica Simpson
Summary: Pop stars Jessica Simpson (Kristen Wiig) and John Mayer (Bill Hader) express their love for one another without barely saying a word.

Recurring Characters: Jessica Simpson.


Avril Lavigne performs "I Can Do Better"


Maya & Shia
Summary: With the discovery that their first names rhyme, Maya Rudolph attempts to seduce Shia LeBeouf in her dressing room.

Transcript


Goodnights
Transcript






Dress Rehearsal Cuts

Roommates
Summary: Student (Shia LaBeouf) tries to get his fat roommates to stop eating his food by using Jared the Subway guy to scare them.


Target Greatland
Summary: Target clerk (Kristen Wiig)'s customers are scared away by cafe clerk's (Shia LaBeouf) ghost stories.

Recurring Characters: Target clerk.


An SNL Digital Short
Summary: Andy Samberg raps about his brother-in-law Roy.


An Intimate Moment with John Mayer & Jessica Simpson I
Summary: Pop stars Jessica Simpson (Kristen Wiig) and John Mayer (Bill Hader) express their love for one another in dead silence.

Recurring Characters: Jessica Simpson.


Movie Pitch
Summary: Shia LaBeouf makes a movie pitch.


Hardware Store
Summary: Shopper (Fred Armisen) makes a scene at the hardware store by dropping things on his penis.


Monkey Business
Summary: Teenager (Shia LaBeouf) tries to get rid of the monkeys in his room.


An Intimate Moment with John Mayer & Jessica Simpson III
Summary: Pop stars Jessica Simpson (Kristen Wiig) and John Mayer (Bill Hader) express their love for one another with continued silence.

Recurring Characters: Jessica Simpson.



SNL Transcripts