Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 33: Episode 2


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:


October 6th, 2007

Seth Rogen

Spoon

None

Chevy Chase

A Message from Kevin Federline
Summary: Having been granted full custodies of the two kids he had with Britney Spears, Kevin Federline (Andy Samberg) shares his parenting tips.

Recurring Characters: Kevin Federline.


Montage
Note: A cartoon by Robert Smigel is announced during the opening credits but does not air in the live broadcast.


Seth Rogen' Monologue
Summary: Seth Rogen reads the monologue he wrote when he anticipated hosting "Saturday Night Live" during his youth.

Bio: Seth Rogan (1982-); Actor/comedian/writer; TV roles in "Freaks and Geeks", 1999-2000, and "Undeclared", 2001-02; recent film projects include "Knocked Up" (2007) and "Superbad" (2007).

Recurring Characters: Steven Seagal.


Veritas Ultrasound HD
Summary: The high-tech ultrasound that features picture-in-picture technology that will bring tears to a new dad's eyes.

Note: This ad parody was cut from last week's dress rehearsal.

Transcript


2007 National Douchebag Championships
Summary: Sharon Osbourne (Amy Poehler) and Gene Simmons (Fred Armisen) are judges at the annual competitition designed to bring out the worst character traits in its participants.

Recurring Characters: Sharon Osbourne.

Transcript


MacGruber I
Summary: Macgruber (Will Forte) is sidetracked from diffusing the bomb when his receding hairline is revealed.

Recurring Characters: MacGruber, Casey.

Transcript


Jeremy & Stacia
Summary: Parents (Bill Hader, Amy Poehler) are oblivious to to how annoying their friends find their oversized kids Jeremy (Seth Rogen) and Stacia (Kristen Wiig).

Transcript


MacGruber II
Summary: Macgruber (Will Forte) is sidetracked from diffusing the bomb when his receding hairline is revealed.

Recurring Characters: MacGruber, Casey.

Transcript


A Message from Fred Thompson
Summary: Actor/politician Fred Thompson (Darrell Hammond) announces his bid for office even though he doesn't seem to care about being elected one way or the other.

Recurring Characters: Sam Waterston.


MacGruber III
Summary: Macgruber (Will Forte) is sidetracked from diffusing the bomb when his receding hairline is revealed.

Recurring Characters: MacGruber, Casey.

Transcript


Spoon performs "The Underdog"
Bio: Indie rock band from Austin, Texas; performing since 1994; members are: Britt Daniel, Jim Eno, Rob Pope, Eric Harvey.


Weekend Update with Amy Poehler & Seth Meyers
Summary: Seth Meyers and Amy Poehler ask "Really!?!" following Larry Craig's weak excuses. Lou Dobbs (Darrell Hammond) rants against Canadians like Seth Rogen. Mets Manager Willie Randolph (Kenan Thompson) and Assistant Manager Omar Minaya (Fred Thompson) don't have much to say about the Mets' faltering performance. Senior Politica Correspondent Chevy Chase quips about the candidates seeking the White House bid in 2008.

Recurring Characters: Lou Dobbs.

Transcript


America's First Colonists
Summary: After discovering a harvest crop of marijuana, the settlers of colonial Stonetown put thoughts of protecting themselves during the harsh winter on the back burner.


Rowlf & The Swedish Chef
Summary: Muppets Rowlf (Seth Rogen), The Swedish Chef (Andy Samberg), Janice (Maya Rudolph), Zoot (Fred Armisen), and Animal (Bill Hader) perform a song.


Spoon performs "You Got Your Cherry Bomb"


Mad Joe Dixon
Summary: Mad Joe Dixon (Seth Rogen) and Delilah (Maya Rudolph) share a joy for tasteless personal pleasures.

Transcript


Goodnights
Transcript






Dress Rehearsal Cuts

Notre Dame Football on NBC
Note: This ad parody will finally air on the episode hosted by Jon Bon Jovi.


NBC Investigates
Summary: An investifative reporter (Seth Rogan) doesn't do as good a job as his colleague (Amy Poehler).


Australian Travelers
Summary: Australians (Seth Rogen, Kristen Wiig, Fred Armisen) pack their suitcases before going to New Zealand.


TV Funhouse
Summary: In a presentation by Rob Smigel, the topic of air safety is covered in a variety of languages.


Hideaway
Summary: While hot-tubbing, a man (Seth Rogan) woos a woman (Maya Rudolph) with tales of his hideaway in White Plains.


Colorado Rookies
Summary: A Colorado Rookies fan (Andy Samberg) performs a crazy dance every time his favorite team scores.


Maybelline For Men Only
Summary: There's no need to question the authenticity of the product, because it says it's "For Men Only" right there on the box.

Note: This ad parody will air on the episode hosted by Brian Williams.


History's Greatest Stories
Summary: Neil Armstrong lands on the moon.



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