Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 33: Episode 4

07d: Brian Williams / Feist

Maybelline For Men Only

Phil....Fred Armisen
Phil's wife....Amy Poehler
Phil's Friends....Andy Samberg, Bill Hader, Jason Sudeikis, Will Forte

[Opens with a group of friends watching a football game on HDTV. They cheer]

Jason: Where's the beer?

Andy: Phil's bringing it.

[Knocks on door. Jason opens the door and Phil is there with the beer and on his face he wears red-hot lipstick, eye shadow, mascara, blush]

Phil: Somebody said beer. [gives beer to Jason, goes inside]

Jason: [confused]God, what's going on with your face?

Phil: I don't know. Maybe I look a little more well-rested.

Andy: No. It looks like you have women's make-up on.

Will: Yeah, I'd say women's make-up.

Phil: No, I don't. I'm wearing makeup for men.[holds up the box] It's men's makeup. For men's only. If it wasn't man's makeup, why do they say it on the box? [his pals check out the box]Maybelline for men. Its written on the box.

[Phil's friends are all getting dolled up in front of their mirrors]

Will: Are you sure this is for men?

Jason: 100% Look on the box.

[On the box it reads "Maybelline. For men only. Not noticeable"]

Announcer: Maybelline for men.

Jason: And it's not noticeable.

Announcer: Guys need to look good too.

[Phil is gets his lashes done. Walks in on his wife who is getting ready for a night out]

Phil: Ready to go honey.

Phil's wife: Are you wearing makeup?

Phil: [kind of tired of explaining] I'm wearing makeup for men. It's not noticeable. It says so on the box. Let's go.

[ Holds up the box, wife is convinced]

Phil's friends: Maybelline for men only!!

Jingle: Maybe it's Maybelline!

[Phil wearing a leather jacket, helmet and makeup hops on a motorcycle, engine revs]

Phil: I'm a Maybelline man.

[scene fades]

[Cheers and applause]

Submitted by: Waldo San Miguel

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