Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 33: Episode 7


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:


March 8th, 2008

Amy Adams

Vampire Weekend

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Clinton Attack Ad
Summary: Hillary Clinton's (Amy Poehler) latest attack ad gives a glimpse of the future to demonstrate the foibles of President Barack Obama at 3am.

Recurring Characters: Hillary Clinton.

Transcript


Montage


Amy Adams' Monologue
Summary: Amy Adams brings Kristen Wiig onstage to demonstrate via song how alike their appearances are.

Bio: Amy Adams (1974-). Actress; Best Supporting Actress Academy Award nominee for "Junebug" (2005); as the star of "Enchanted" (2007), she performed its Academy Award-nominated song at the 80th annual Academy Awards ceremony.

Transcript


Mirror Image
Summary: Hailey Winters (Amy Adams) and her fat twin sister Hagley (Kristen Wiig) try to pass themselves off as one student when they enroll at a new school.

Transcript


Couples Therapy
Summary: Newlyweds Brian (Will Forte) and runaway Bagdana (Amy Poehler) are having marital difficulties because he still hasn't fully signed all of her immigration papers.

Transcript


An SNL Digital Short
Summary: Hero (Andy Samberg) sings about cleaning up the city before being repeatedly pummelled by a purse-snatcher (Jason Sudeikis).

Transcript


Fierce: The Hot Mess Make-Over Show
Summary: "Extreme Makeover" contestant Christian Siriano (Amy Poehler) has his own fashion show, and it's filled with endless catchphrases.

Recurring Characters: Heidi Klum.

Transcript


Vampire Weekend performs "A-Punk"
Bio: Indie rock/Afro-pop band; members are: Ezra Koenig, Rostam Batmanglij, Chris Tomson, Chris Baio.


Weekend Update with Amy Poehler & Seth Meyers
Summary: Sen. Tim Calhoun (Will Forte) also seeks the Democratic nomination for the Presidency. Jean K. Jean (Kenan Thompson).

Recurring Characters: Tim Calhoun.


Penelope at Traffic School
Summary: Penelope (Kristen Wiig) one-ups fellow students while attending traffic school.

Recurring Characters: Penelope.


Dr. Uncle Jimmy's Smokehouse and Outpatient Surgical Facility
Summary: Dr. Uncle Jimmy (Will Forte) half-excels in both barbecue and medical surgery.

Transcript


Roger Clemens Presents
Summary: Roger Clemens (Jason Sudeikis) has written a play that demonstrates the results of not letting baseball players use steroids.

Note: This sketch was cut from last week's dress rehearsal.

Transcript


The Tookie Styles Show
Summary: Tookie Styles (Kenan Thompson) announces that his early 1980's cable access show is now on DVD, and it features plenty of clips of political dignitaries dancing to Tookie's hip-hop beat and nearly getting assassinated.


Vampire Weekend performs "M79"


Celebrations
Summary: A quartet of desperate women (Amy Adams, Kristen Wiig, Amy Poehler, Casey Wilson) perform a single dance move in varying speeds in order to impress men at a bar.


Goodnights
Transcript






Dress Rehearsal Cuts

WDHX News
Summary: Field reporter (Amy Adams) reports live, via tape delay, where her desk anchors (Will Forte, Kristen Wiig) are unable to protect her from jungle creatures about to attack.

Note: This sketch was also cut from last week's dress rehearsal, but will eventually air on the 2011-12 season premiere with Kristen Wiig assuming the role of the field reporter.


Hotel Room
Summary: Hotel employee (Amy Adams) informs an overnight guest (Jason Sudeikis) of the most opportune time and place to masturbate within the hotel.



SNL Transcripts