Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 34: Episode 2

08b: James Franco / Kings of Leon

Yankee Stadium Stories

Martin Scorsese....Fred Armisen
Rosie Perez....Amy Poehler

Caption: Yankee Stadium Stories

[ Opens with black and white images of Yankee Stadium. Yankees baseball team logo on the field. Acclaimed filmmaker Martin Scorsese in a suit and tie, thick glasses is joined by Puerto Rican actress/dancer Rosie Perez ]

Martin Scorsese: [rapid fire delivery] Yankee Stadium. Look at this place. Beautiful. Huge stadium. They're gonna tear it down. A piece of New York history. Unbelievable. Who could fathom that? Mickey Mantle, my favorite player of all time. My favorite Yankee.

Rosie Perez: [thick, nasal Spanish accent] I can't believe they're gonna tear it down because I have so many memories here cause I used to come here with my uncle Rico when I was little and we would come on roller skates.

[Martin Scorsese pushes Rosie down the stadium aisles on her roller skates]

Martin Scorsese: It's a true story. We used to play baseball in our backyard. But we couldn't afford bats and balls so we used loaves of bread [Martin getting ready to bat with a loaf of bread] and meatballs. [Martin shows a meatball in his baseball glove] That's a true story.

[Rosie throws a meatball at Martin. Martin whacks the ball with the loaf of bread. He runs while Rosie fields.]

Rosie Perez: Oh, no! Throw me the meatball!

Martin Scorsese: And now they're gonna move Yankee Stadium.

Rosie Perez: How are they going to move Yankee Stadium, Martin Scorsese?

Martin Scorsese: Terrible. What are they going to move next? The Empire State Building?

Rosie Perez: One time there was a breakdancing contest here and I was a judge. Yankee Stadium, I love you.

Martin Scorsese: Yankee Stadium. Bye.

Caption: Yankee Stadium Stories.


Submitted by: Waldo San Miguel

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