Air Date: Host: Musical Guest: Special Guests: Cameos: Bit Players:

December 6th, 2008 John Malkovich T.I. None Jamie-Lynn Sigler Molly Sims Justin Timberlake Swizz Beatz Jorma Taccone

A Message from the Secretary of State Designate

Summary: Newly-appointed Secretary of State Hillary Clinton (Amy Poehler) swears she doesn't hold a grudge against Barack Obama for getting to be president. Note: Amy Poehler returns from maternity leave. Recurring Characters: Hillary Clinton, Bill Clinton. Transcript

Montage

John Malkovich's Monologue

Summary: John Malkovich reads "The Night Before Christmas" to a group of crew members' children, but keeps interrupting the story to educate them about the real story behind the traditional tale. First Hosted: 88j. Transcript

Gas Right

Summary: Bruce Johnson (Fred Armisen), the inventor of Breathe-Right, has stayed up late to create a sequel product that controls the flow of farts between one's butt cheeks.

Shana

Summary: Office workers (Will Forte, Andy Samberg, Kenan Thompson) are enamored by new girl Shana (Kristen Wiig), who possesses great sex appeal until she walks and talks.

Cool Obama

Summary: Barack Obama (Fred Armisen) points out just how cool he is. Recurring Characters: Barack Obama. Transcript

La Rivista Della Televisione

Summary: Vinny Vedecci (Bill Hader) interviews John Malkovich and shows a clip from his sex film "Being Vinny Vedecci". Recurring Characters: Vinny Vedecci, crew members. Transcript

Virgania Horsen's Pony Express

Summary: Virgania Horsen (Kristen Wiig) offers an alternative to traditional mail services that could be under terrorist attack. Recurring Characters: Virgania Horsen. Transcript

Twins

Summary: All twin brothers Aiden (John Malkovich) and Paul (Fred Armisen) want for Christmas is a calculator. Transcript

T.I. performs "Whatever You Like"

Weekend Update with Amy Poehler & Seth Meyers

Summary: Plaxico Burress (Kenan Thompson) gives gun-carrying tips, then accidentlaly shoots himself again. 9-year old David Rasmussen (Andy Samberg) offers tips on how to meet girls. Boy George (Fred Armisen) doesn't see anything wrong with his recent crime arrest. Recurring Characters: Boy George.

The Lost Works of Judy Blume

Summary: Awkward teenager Gertie (John Malkovich) harbors a secret she hopes won't be revealed at a slumber party.

An SNL Digital Short

Summary: Andy Samberg sings about "Jizz In My Pants". Transcript

T.I. & Swizz Beatz perform "Swing Ya Rag"

J'accuzi

Summary: John Malkovich stars in a version of "Dangerous Liasions" that is set in a jacuzzi. Transcript

Goodnights

Transcript