Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 34: Episode 11


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:

Bit Players:



December 13th, 2008

Hugh Laurie

Kanye West

None

Maya Rudolph

None

Blagojevich Hearing
Summary: Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich (Jason Sudeikis) testifies and curses before the Senate Banking Committee for his own financial bailout.

Recurring Characters: Rod Blagojevich, Robert Byrd, Evan Bayh, Christopher Dodd, Elizabeth Dole.

Transcript


Montage


Hugh Laurie's Monologue
Summary: In order to avoid copyright infringement laws, Hugh Laurie sings a medley of three-second excerpts from his favorite Christmas songs.

First Hosted: 06d.

Transcript


Bronx Beat
Summary: Betty Caruso (Amy Poehler) and Jodi Deitz (Maya Rudolph) chatter with Jeffrey Billings (Hugh Laurie).

Recurring Characters: Betty Caruso, Jodi Deitz.


Sarcastic Christmas Dinner
Summary: Members of a family (Hugh Laurie, Casey Wilson, Jason Sudeikis, Will Forte, Kristen Wiig) make sarcastic remarks to one another over a tense Christmas dinner.

Transcript


Wedding Toasts
Summary: Offbeat members of the Culhane family continuously interrupt the emcee (Jason Sudeikis) at the wedding reception of David (Andy Samberg) and Tina (Abby Elliott).

Transcript


Kayne West performs "Love Lockdown"
First Performed: 05a.

Lyrics


Weekend Update with Amy Poehler & Seth Meyers
Summary: New York Governor David Paterson (Fred Armisen) comments about ousted Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich and mocks New Jersey. Seth Meyers and Amy Poehler ask "Really!?!" following Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich's scandal. Amy Poehler's announcement that she's really leaving "SNL" is interrupted by a wandering Gov. David Paterson (Fred Armisen).


Magical Lamps
Summary: A trio of singing lamps (Hugh Laurie, Andy Samberg, Kristen Wiig) take their shopkeepers (Fred Armisen, Michaela Watkins) hostage, shoot a grandfather clock (Will Forte), and star in a new Broadway musical.


The Cat's Christmas Letter
Summary: An exasperated husband (Hugh Laurie) types up the family's Christmas letter in their dead pet cat's voice, as dictated by his nutty wife (Kristen Wiig).


An SNL Digital Short
Summary: As the boss (Hugh Laurie) announces impending company layoffs, employee Marcus (Fred Armisen) can't keep his hands off what he thinks are delicious cookies.

Transcript


Kayne West performs "Heartless"


Goodnights
Transcript





SNL Transcripts