Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 34: Episode 12


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:

Bit Players:



January 10th, 2009

Neil Patrick Harris

Taylor Swift

None

Liza Minnelli

None

The Rachel Maddow Show
Summary: Rachel Maddow (Abby Elliott) interviews disgraced former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich (Jason Sudekis) and his Sente appointee, Roland Burris (Kenan Thompson).

Recurring Characters: Rod Blagojevich.

Transcript


Montage


Neil Patrick Harris' Monologue
Summary: Neil Patrick Harris makes a point-for-point criticism of former child star Fred Savage's SNL hosting stint in 1990, and is then made the object of poorly-constructed jokes by a group of goofy audience members (Fred Armisen, Bill Hader, Bobby Moyhnihan) and Mark Wahlberg (Andy Samberg).

Recurring Characters: Mark Wahlberg.

Transcript


Today
Summary: The fourth and final hour of "Today" is a train wreck, as co-hosted by chatty Kathie Lee Gifford (Kristen Wiig) and an insufferable Hoda Kotb (Michaela Watkins). Tensions build when they welcom a fitness instructor (Neil Patrick Harris) to the set.

Recurring Characters: Kathie Lee Gifford.


Save Broadway
Summary: At Sardi's, a group of Broadway performers struggle to find a way to keep the faltering economy from preventing the cancellation of their long-running stage shows.

Transcript


Penelope
Summary: Penelope (Kristen Wiig) one-ups the other members of a gropu therapy session by bragging of her close friendship with Liza Minnelli.

Recurring Characters: Penelope, Lou.


An SNL Digital Short
Summary: "Doogie Howser, M.D." theme song.


Taylor Swift performs "Love Story"


Weekend Update with Seth Meyers
Summary: Charles Barkley (Kenan Thompson) makes excuses for his latest traffic violation. Will Forte sings a song about the BCS.

Recurring Characters: Charles Barkley.


Two First Names
Summary: Neil Patrick Harris welcomes other famous celebrities with two first names, while shunning wanna-bes like Daniel-Day Lewis (Bill Hader).

Recurring Characters: David Lee Roth, Jamie Lee Curtis, Daniel-Day Lewis.


Fran & Freba
Summary: Long-nailed air traffic controllers Fran (Neil Patrick Harris) and Freba (Kristen Wiig) gab about co-worker Gil (Will Forte).


Frost/Other People
b>Summary: In a trailer for the "Frost/Noxin" sequel, David Frost (Neil Patrick Harris) ineptly interviews a slew of other 70's-era celebrities with little to hide.

Recurring Characters: David Frost, Richard Nixon, David Bowie, David Crosby, Paul Lynde.

Transcript


Taylor Swift performs "Forever & Always"


Whopper Virgins
Summary: Burger King execs (Neil Patrick Harris, Kristen Wiig) discover immigrants (Bobby Moyhnihan, Michaela Watkins, Fred Armisen) who not only have never eaten a Whopper but are also unable to comprehend its purpose.

Transcript


Goodnights
Transcript






Dress Rehearsal Cuts

Lawyer's Office


Question Box
Summary: Randy student (Andy Samberg) embarrasses his teacher (Neil Patrick Harris) by placing sexual questions in the class question box.



SNL Transcripts