Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 34: Episode 12











08l: Neil Patrick Harris / Taylor Swift

Frost/Other People

David Frost....Neil Patrick Harris
Richard Nixon.....Darrell Hammond
Assistant.....Jason Sudeikis
David Bowie.....Bill Hader
David Crosby.....Bobby Moynihan
Paul Lynde.....Fred Armisen
Fred "Rerun" Berry.....Kenan Thompson

Caption: Frost/Nixon

Announcer: Critics are raving for Ron Howardīs Frost/Nixon. The gripping real life drama of David Frost historic interview with a fallen Richard Nixon.

(Cut to David Frost interviewing Richard Nixon in a room)

David Frost: (British accent) Are you saying that the President of the United States is allowed to do something illegal?

Richard Nixon: Iīm saying that when the President of the United States does it, is not illegal.

David Frost: You know that weīre taping, right?

Richard Nixon: Wha--? Uh?

(An assistant comes out and interrupts)

Assistant: No, no, no. Stop the interview! Stop the interview! Mr. President, come on!

(Cut to a still of Frost looking intrigued)

Announcer: And to top off that success we put together this hastily ensemble sequel. Frost/Other People.

Caption: Frost/Other People

(another still with Frost holding a pencil, arched eyebrow)

Announcer: Watch as David Frost takes on other celebrities of the 70īs. Like David Bowie.

(cut to the interview room)

David Frost: And even though you sing again and again about traveling through space, youīre not an astronaut and have in fact, never left the Earth.

(David Bowie circa 1970 has red punkish hair and a lighting bolt drawn across his face)

David Bowie: Well, let me stop you right there, because---

David Frost: I mean, can you even name all the planets?

David Bowie: Come on, man. Donīt do this to me. Iīm an artist, man. Just let the children boogie.

(same assistant interrupts, he has red, punkish hair like Bowie)

Assistant: Ok, all right, all right. Donīt say another word, Bowie. This interview is over.

Caption: Frost / Other People

Announcer: After the success of Nixon, David Frost just couldnīt leave it well enough alone.

(another still of Frost looking smug)

Announcer: And now watch him go for the jugular again and again.

(another still of Frost screaming and another pointing mad as hell)

Announcer: See the tension of Frostīs 5 part interview that finally cracked David Crosby.

Caption: Frost / Crosby

(Cut to interview room with famous druggie, folk-rock pioneer, David Crosby. He has long hair and handlebar mustache)

David Frost: Mr. Crosby, are you in fact, a coked up walrus?

David Crosby: Yes!

(same assistant interrupts, has handlebar mustache too)

Assistant: Ok, all right. Thatīs it. Interview is over!

(David Crosby swats to invisible bugs around him)

Announcer: Rolling Stone magazine raves: "I like anything, so this counts" and The New York Post says: "Long Island Perv, Cops Plea" Youīll be riveted as you watch him go after game show staple Paul Lynde.

(Cut to interview room with Frost and a very nervous Paul Lynde. He has a very gay blue handkerchief tied around his neck)

Paul Lynde: Ask anything you want. I donīt have anything to hide. Oh, wait. I have everything to hide!(stammers nervously) Just look in my closet. Itīs huge in there. Big enough for two. Nothing in there but shoes though. Iīm heavy on the shoes but Iīm light on the loafers.(breaks down, almost crying) Did I just say that?

(assistant interrupts wearing the gay blue handkerchief)

Assistant: All right, stop.

Paul Lynde: He hasnīt asked a question yet!

Caption: Frost / Other People

Announcer: Its over 90 minutes of people from the past sitting and talking in chairs.

(cut to various stills of Frostīs face)

Announcer: Watch as David Frost takes on none other than Fred "Rerun" Berry.

Caption: Frost/Berry

(Cut to interview room with "Rerun" Berry wearing a red beret and suspenders)

David Frost: In the "Whatīs Happening" episode entitled "Doobie or not Dobbie"...

Fred "Rerun" Berry: Wait, wait, wait. Hold on...

David Frost: You, Dwayne and Rog are invited by the Doobie Brothers to one of their concerts even though they asked you specifically not to make a bootleg tape.

Fred "Rerun" Berry: No, hold on, hold on. I see where youīre going with this. We went to the concert because we were fans of the Doobie Brothers.

David Frost: Let me get this straight. Three young black men from Los Angeles are fans of the Doobie Brothers?

Fred "Rerun" Berry: (breaks down and cries) It was the only band we could get.

(assistant interrupts wearing red beret and suspenders like "Rerun")

Assistant: Ok, letīs go Rerun. Letīs go.

Fred "Rerun" Berry: Shabba doo, hit the music!(gets up and dances 70īs style with the assistant)

Caption: Frost/Other People

Announcer: Frost/Other People in theaters just in time for Award season. Uh...what? Its too late? Oh, damn.

(cheers and applause)

(fade)


Submitted by: Waldo San Miguel


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