Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 34: Episode 13

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


Bit Players:

January 17th, 2009

Rosario Dawson

Fleet Foxes




ABC News Special: Vice President Dick Cheney: The Final Interview
Summary: Diane Sawyer (Kristen Wiig) interview outgoing Vice-President Dick Cheney (Darrell Hammond), who insists that he has no regrets.

Recurring Characters: Diane Sawyer, Dick Cheney.


Rosario Dawson's Monologue
Summary: Rosario Dawson speaks against Spanish stereotypes while Fericito (Fred Armisen) maintains his posture.

Recurring Characters: Fericito.

North American Savings
Summary: The bank that lets you save your money without the bother of collecting interest in these hard economic times.


Da Learnin' Train
Recurring Characters: Harry Connick Jr.


Guantanamo Bay Going Out Of Business Sale
Summary: CIA Field Op (Jason Sudeikis) announces that all torture devices and accessories must go, now that the new administration is closing down the detainment camp.


Aladdin Anniversary
Summary: On their ten-year anniversary, Aladdin (Jason Sudeikis) and Jasmine (Rosario Dawson) sing the frustrations of married life aboard their magic carpet.


An SNL Digital Short
Summary: Fred Armisen and Andy Samberg are "A Couple of Homies" who manage to remain good friends without kissing.

Summary: Frizzy-haired Gilly (Kristen Wiig) performs pranks and misdemeanors in the classroom while dancing to her own theme song.


Fleet Foxes perform "Mykonos"

Weekend Update with Seth Meyers
Summary: Bernard Madoff (Fred Armisen). Travel correspondent Judy Grimes (Kristen Wiig). Larry the Goose (Andy Samberg) tells his side of the Flight 1549 crash-landing story.

Recurring Characters: Judy Grimes.

La Policia Mexicana
Summary: Isabella Lopez, Carmen (Rosario Dawson), Carloz Ruiz (Fred Armisen), and El Jefe (Bill Hader) interrogate a suspect (Bobby Moynihan) using basic Spanish 101.


The View
Summary: Salma Hayek (Rosario Dawson) and Ricky Gervais (Jason Sudeikis).

Recurring Characters: Barbara Walters, Whoopi Goldberg, Joy Behar, Elisabeth Hasselbeck.

Fleet Foxes perform "Blue Ridge Mountains"

Good Excuse!


SNL Transcripts