Air Date: Host: Musical Guest: Special Guests: Cameos: Bit Players:

February 14th, 2009 Alec Baldwin Jonas Brothers None Dan Aykroyd Jack McBrayer Cameron Diaz Hailey Baldwin Alia Baldwin None

Republican Congressional Leadership Meeting

Summary: In-denial Republican leaders look for fault in President Obama's latest speech. Transcript

Montage

Alec Baldwin's Monologue

Summary: Audience members overlook Alec Baldwin so they can fawn over "30 Rock" co-star Jack McBrayer. Transcript

The Fourth Jonas Brother

Summary: During a recording session, The Jonas Brothers decide to kick their lame fourth brother, Gary (Alec Baldwin), out of the group. Transcript

The Cougar Den

Summary: Jacqueline Seka (Kristen Wiig), and Toni Ward (Casey Wilson) welcome back their pal Kiki Deamore (Cameron Diaz), who has co-written a book on picking up young dudes with cou-gay Blaine (Alec Baldwin). Recurring Characters: Toni Ward, Jacqueline Seka, Kenneth, Kiki Deamore. Transcript

An SNL Digital Short

Summary: Andy Samberg discovers ancient videotape footage of The Jonas Brothers when they performed as Property of the Queen during the 1980's. Transcript

Sir Mix-a-Lot's Photoshop

Summary: Sir Mix-a-Lot (Kenan Thompson). Transcript

Jonas Brothers perform "Tonight"

Lyrics

Weekend Update with Seth Meyers

Summary: Financial expert Oscar Rogers (Kenan Thompson) still thinks the solution to the economic crisis is to "Fix it!" Recurring Characters: Oscar Rogers, Angelina Jolie. Transcript

Vincent Price's Valentine's Day Special

Summary: Vincent Price (Bill Hader) endures domestic strife between lovebirds Richard burton (Alec Baldwin) and Elizabeth Taylor (Casey Wilson) on his 1966 Valentine's Day special. Recurring Characters: Vincent Price, Richard Burton, Elizabeth Taylor, Liberace. Transcript

High-Profile Project

Summary: Carl (Will Forte), Jerry (Bill Hader), and Troy (Alec Baldwin) can't seem to synchronize their schedules in order to complete their high-profile project. Recurring Characters: Carl, Jerry. Transcript

Warrior Shake

Summary: Dad (Alec Baldwin) finds masturbatory pleasure in his kids' (Jason Sudeikis, Bill Hader) favorite Wii game. Transcript

Jonas Brothers performs "Video Girl"

Lyrics

Chewable Pampers

Summary: The organic-enriched diaper that is eco-friendly and delicious. Note: Repeat from 08n.

Virgania Horsen's Hot-Air Balloon Rides

Summary: Trying not to rub it in anyone's face, Virgania Horsen (Kristen Wiig) advertises rides on her hot air balloon. Note: Repeat from 07e.

Alec Baldwin's Acting Techniques for Actors

Summary: Alec Baldwin demonstrates the acting prowess of a cinematic "first cough". Transcript

Goodnights

Transcript