Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 34: Episode 20









08t: Zac Efron / Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Since You Went Away

Emily.....Casey Wilson
Francis.....Zac Efron
Conductor.....Will Forte
Mother.....Bobby Moynihan
Soldier.....Jason Sudeikis

[ open on interior, train station ]

[ SUPER: "Connecticut, 1917" ]

[ dissolve to train exterior, Emily holding her soldier boyfriend's hand through the window before he departs ]

Emily: I can't believe we met just two weeks ago, and now you're going off to the front!

Francis: Don't worry -- I'll be back before you can say "Coca-Cola."

Emily: Okay! But promise me you'll watch out for the Germans.

Francis: Oh, don't worry about me; worry about the kaiser - he's not going to know what hit him, babe.

Conductor: All abooooooaaaarrdd!!

[ train horn toots ]

Emily: Oh!

Francis: Okay, Emily -- goodbye!

[ the train begins to pull away, with Emily still clutching Francis' hand and walking briskly beside the moving train ]

Emily: I don't want you to leave!

Francis: Oh, don't cry, my love! I love you!

Emily: I love you, too, Francis!

Francis: Goodbye, my darling!

Emily: Goodbye!

[ she lets go of his hand and falls back out of frame ]

Francis: Goodbye!

Emily: Goodbye!

[ Francis stares inward as the train picks up speed ]

[ suddenly, Emily appears running beside the train, holding out a handkerchief ]

Emily: Wait!

Francis: Emily?

Emily: I just wanted to give you my handkerchief, so you'll never forget me!

Francis: Oh, thank you, darling! [ he takes the handkerchief ]

Emily: You're welcome!

Francis: Goodbye!

Emily: Goodbye!

[ Emily again falls back out of frame as the train speeds up ]

[ Francis clutches Emily's handkerchief and holds her scent to his nose ]

[ suddenly, Emily appears running faster beside the train ]

Emily: Francis! Do you miss me yet?

Francis: [ startled ] Y-yeah! Wait... how are you running so fast?

Emily: What do you mean?

Francis: I'm on a speeding train.

Emily: Well... I'm alway chasing the sheep around the barn. Maybe that's how!

Francis: Oh. Okay. But we said goodbye, so... maybe you should go back to the farm.

Emily: I'd run all the way to Germany for you! [ she catches her breath several times ]

Francis: Aren't you getting tired?

Emily: No! [ she smiles ] Not as long as I'm looking at you!

Francis: Well... I think you need to go home!

Emily: But I don't want to say goodbye!

[ Emily's Mother runs up behind her ]

Mother: Emily! Emily! You forgot your bonnet! [ she hands it over ]

Emily: Oh, thanks!

Mother: I'm gonna run into town -- I'll see you later!

[ Emily's Mother kisses her on the cheek, then runs up ahead of her. As she does so, the front of her apron flies up into her face. ]

[ Emily puts her bonnet in her pocket, as she continues to run after the train ]

Francis: Was that your mother?

Emily: Yes! [ smiles mischieviously ] I guess you got a preview of me in twenty-five years!

Francis: Okay, you NEED to go home now!

Emily: You ARE my home! Whoo! [ she hops into the air ] Big old log!

Francis: Emily! You're freaking me out a little bit!

Emily: I know! I have so much energy, and I only had a small breakfast! [ she huffs and puffs ]

Francis: What did you eat?

Emily: [ proudly ] Eighteen eggs an a gallon of buttermilk! [ she huffs and puffs ] But all this running is making me hungry!

[ the Soldier in the next window peeks at Emily from the next window ]

Soldier: [ to Francis ] Hey! Who's that little ady running next to the train?

Emily: I'm the love of his life!

Francis: No, you're not! We're breaking up!

Emily: Why?

Francis: Because... I'm going to war, and... you're really weird.

Emily: Fine! But you're making a big mistake, Francis! I may not be your typical girly-girl... but, one day, you're gonna wake up and --

[ Emily falls out of frame with a splash ]

Francis: Oh, my God! She fell in that creek!

Soldier: Uh -- no! No, no -- hang on!

[ Emily runs back into frame, clutching a fish ]

Emily: I'm back! And I caught a fish!

Francis: Uh -- don't eat it!

Emily: I want to! For energy! [ Francis is stunned ] Did you miss me?

Francis: [ stunning himself now ] You know... strangely... I did.

Emily: [ excited ] Does that mean we're engaged!

Francis: Uhhh...

Emily: YAYYY!!! I'm gonna go tell Momma!

[ Emily clamps the fish between her teeth, then runs out of frame; Francis remains stunned, unsure of what has he gotten himself into ]

Soldier: [ smiling as he smokes his cigarette ] You're never gonna get away from that one!

[ fade ]


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