Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 34: Episode 21


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:















Bit Players:



May 9th, 2009

Justin Timberlake

Ciara

None

Lorne Michaels

Patricia Clarkson

Susan Sarandon

Jessica Biel

Chris Pine

Zachary Quinto

Leonard Nimoy

Jimmy Fallon

None

A Special Address from the Secretary of the Treasury
Summary: Timothy Geithner (Will Forte) outlines the results of a 50-question bank stress test.

Recurring Characters: Timothy Geithner.

Transcript


Montage


Justin Timberlake's Monologue
Summary: Justin Timberlake performs a song-and-dance routine amongst cast members and show personnel backstage.

First Hosted: 03b.

Transcript


Mom Celebrity Translator
Summary: A handheld electronic device that allows young'uns to decipher what well-known celebrity their unhip mothers are trying to describe to them.

Transcript


Target Greatland
Summary: The Target Lady (Kristen Wiig) annoys customers while chatting with her equally-annoying friend Peg (Justin Timberlake).

Recurring Characters: Target Lady.

Transcript


Immigrants
Summary: A group of Irish immigrants entering America dream of the opportunities their great-great grandchildren will have, except for Cornelius Timberlake (Justin Timberlake) who fancies that his great-great grandson will one day be a popular, self-satisfying, arrogant little prick.

Transcript


An SNL Digital Short
Recurring Characters: "Dick in a Box" bad boys (Andy Samberg, Justin Timberlake) give up their boxes so they can become "Mother (Patricia Clarkson, Susan Sarandon) Lovers".

Transcript


Plasticville
Summary: A guy dressed as a barbell (Will Forte) faces competition from Plasticville's boob mascot (Justin Timberlake).

Recurring Characters: Mascot.

Transcript


Ciara with Justin Timberlake performs "Love Sex Magic"
Lyrics


Weekend Update with Seth Meyers
Summary: Elliot Spitzer (Bill Hader) and David Paterson (Fred Armisen). Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto promote the new "Star Trek" movie, with a nod from Leonard Nimoy.

Recurring Characters: Elliot Spitzer, David Paterson.

Transcript


The Barry Gibb Talk Show
Summary: Robin Gibb (Justin Timberlake) remains mum while Barry Gibb (Jimmy Fallon) issues insane threats to his political guests, just like last time.

Recurring Characters: Barry Gibb, Robin Gibb, Nancy Pelosi.

Transcript


Pirates
Summary:


Ciara performs "Never Ever"


Goodnights





SNL Transcripts