Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 34: Episode 21







08u: Justin Timberlake / Ciara

Mom Celebrity Translator

Mom #1.....Michaela Watkins
Ben.....Bobby Moynihan
Spokesman.....Jason Sudeikis
Mom #2.....Casey Wilson
Son #2.....Bill Hader

[ open on Mom sitting on sofa, as Ben enters ]

Ben: Hey Mom.

Mom #1: Hey Ben. Guess who got arrested?

Ben: Who?

Mom #1: Kevin Summerland.

Ben: Who??

Mom #1: You know, Calvin Sonogram...

Ben: Oh, you mean Kiefer Sutherland?

Mom #1: Yes, that’s it.

[ cut to Spokesman ]

Spokesman: Moms. They love us and they take care of us, but one thing they can’t do is remember celebrities’ names. Now, you don’t have to waste hours a day trying to decipher which celebrity your mother is referring to with the new Mom Celebrity Translator. Simply enter the name as pronounced by your mother.

[ cut to Mom #2 and her son in his bedroom ]

Mom #2: Kite Carbinaw.

Spokesman V/O: Then enter whatever vague information your mother knows about this person.

Mom #2: She’s on TV, and she’s crazy.

Spokesman V/O: And seconds later, you’ll have the translation.

Son #2: Ohhhhh! Kim Kardashian! Yeah, she’s crazy.

[ cut to Mom #3 and Daughter in the kitchen ]

Mom #3: Honey, who do you think is cuter: Rabbi Renaldo or Champ Crawdaddy?

Daughter: [ typing this information ] Oh, you mean Ryan Reynolds or Chase Crawford. Yeah neither, I like Jake Gyllenhaal.

Mom #3: Who?

Spokesman V/O: It even works backwards.

Daughter: [ typing ] Sorry, Joe Geronimo.

Mom #3: I love Joe Geronimo. He was so good in “Breakdance Fountain”.

Spokesman: And the Mom Celebrity Translator even comes with audio playback so moms can hear the right pronunciation.

[ return to Mom #1 and Ben ]

Mom #1: Keith Ragu.

Translator: Ke-a-nu Reeves.

Ben: Ohhhhhh!

Mom #1: That’s what I said.

Spokesman: The Mom Celebrity Translator, look for it wherever mom products are sold. So...Ann Taylor.


Submitted by: Jacques


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