Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 34: Episode 21









08u: Justin Timberlake / Ciara

An SNL Digital Short

.....Andy Samberg
.....Justin Timberlake
.....Patricia Clarkson
.....Susan Sarandon

[ SUPER: "5 MONTHS LATER" ]

[ the "Dick in a Box" singers exit the Brooklyn Detention Center carrying their boxes, which they toss into a trash can ]

[ they begin to sing ]

Andy: Oh, dang.

Justin: What is it, dawg?

Andy: I forgot itís Motherís Day

Justin: Didnít get a gift for her

Andy:
Other plans got in the way
Sheíll be so disappointed

Justin: Damn, I forgot it too

Andy: This could have been avoided

Both: What the hell are we gonna do?

Justin:
My momís been so forlorn
Ever since my daddy left

Andy: Cold

Justin:
No one to hold her tight
Life has put her to the test

Andy:
I know just what you mean
My momís been so sad and gray

Justin: Word

Andy: My dad canít satisfy her in the bedroom ever since he passed away

Both: Hold up

Andy: You thinkiní what Iím thinkiní?

Justin: Iím thinkiní Iím thinkiní too

Both: Slow up

Andy: What time is it, dawg?

Justin: Itís time for a switcheroo

Both:
We both love our moms, women with grown-women needs
I say we break Ďem off
Show Ďem how much they really mean
ĎCause Iím a motherlover
Youíre a motherlover
We should fó each otherís mothers

Justin:
Fó each otherís moms
Youíve seen that place that you came out as a baby
Ainít no doubt that shĖ is crazy
Fó each otherís moms

Both:
ĎCause every Motherís Day needs a motherís night
If doing it is wrong, I donít wanna be right
Iím calliní on you, ícause I canít do it myself
To me youíre like a brother, so be my motherlover

Andy:
Iím layiní in the cut, waitiní for your mom
Clutchiní on this lube and roses

Justin:
I got my digital camera
Iím gonna make your mama do a million poses

Andy: They will be so surprised

Justin: We are so cool and thoughtful

Andy: Canít wait to pork your mom

Justin: Iím gonna be the syrup, she can be my waffle

Both: Sho ínuff

Justin: My mother loves bubble bath with chamomile

Both: Straight up

Andy: Give it to my mom d-d-d-d-d-d-dóy-style

Both:
This the perfect plan
For a perfect Motherís Day
Theyíll have to rename this one
All Up Under the Covers Day
ĎCause Iím a motherlover
Youíre a motherlover
We should fó each otherís mothers
Justin: Fó each otherís moms
Iíll push in that place
Where you came out as a baby
Ainít no doubt that shĖ is crazy
Fó each otherís moms

Andy:
Break it down
It would be my honor to be your new stepfather

Justin: It would be my honor to be your new stepfather

Andy:
Iíll let you do my mother
Make me another brother
And Iím gonna do your mother
Iíll never use a rubber

Justin:
Oh!
ĎCause every Motherís Day needs a motherís night
If doing it is wrong, I donít wanna be right
Iím calliní on you, ícause I canít do it myself
To me youíre like a brother, so be my motherlover
They blessed us both with the gift of life
She brought you in this world, so Iímma sex her right
This is the second-best idea that weíve ever had
The choice can be no other
Be my motherlover.


Submitted by: Jordan Anderson


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